


Forget-me-not

by Iwassupposedtostudy



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: A teenie tiny bit of angst, Corona made me do this., Don't ask., F/F, I did it again., I don't know - I suck at tagging., It's just for fun., It's like Mamma Mia 2, Mostly Fluff, The sequel no one wanted, The twist is Ann, This is probably not as good as the first one - like MEH, You know same story told twice..., but with a twist, or you know sort of., she's confused AF this time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28128906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwassupposedtostudy/pseuds/Iwassupposedtostudy
Summary: You know when people write sequels that’s just a re-telling of the first film or book but with a twist? You know like ‘Mamma mia 2'? - This is that exactly. (And as always with 'sequels' not sure I should've done it, but - we've already established I have no dignity left)Corona’s not treating me good… I mean I don’t have it, I think, but I’m lonely and all that. So, figured it might be fun to write this ‘sequel’… it’s basically the same story I wrote a couple of weeks ago but what if Ann lost her memories instead? Ooooh. Yeah, so. Fun. Such fun. Or you know not. But I mean feel free to not read it if you don’t like it. If you do – well then… enjoy! Xx
Relationships: Anne Lister (1791-1840)/Ann Walker (1803-1854)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 76





	1. Chapter 1

It was rather late, but Anne and Ann were still up. They had been sat in Anne’s study for quite a while, Anne had been writing letters, were still writing and Ann sketched in her sketchpad. They’d been quiet for a long while following a small argument that had sparked between them when Ann had taken Marian’s side in one of their squabbles. Not unjustly though, Ann was completely right to have done that. But Anne’s green-eyed monster had made an appearance and she’d made a big deal out of it.   
  
Ann glanced over Anne’s shoulder and huffed as she noticed the end line of a letter Anne was writing to Isabella Norcliffe. Anne turned her head around to face her, looking rather annoyed,   
“What?”   
“Nothing.” Ann replied dryly and Anne craned her neck further to better look at her,   
“Why did you huff then?”   
“No, I just…” Ann trailed off but decided that she did want to say something, putting her sketchpad down,   
“I just find it funny how you justify being so upset with me for justly taking your sister’s side in a squabble because ‘You’re my wife’ and then sit and sign your letters to other women like that.”   
Anne sighed irate, dropping her pen on the table with a thud, turning around properly in her chair,   
“It’s just a letter.”   
“Mm, to one of your former lovers.” Ann glared at her, crossing her arms, and Anne rolled her eyes at her – annoying Ann the more.   
“So? It’s just formalities.”   
“With love and affection… is that formal? God, your business contacts must think you to be very generous and kind.” Ann barked back and Anne bit her inner-cheek trying to keep her temper in check,   
“You know what I meant. Besides, you sign your letters in a similar way.”   
Ann exhaled slowly, pressing her fingers to her forehead,   
“To Catherine! My cousin! Who I for the record haven’t slept with!”   
“Same thing.”   
“No! Anne, it’s not. When I sign them to her – it’s because she’s my relative. When you sign yours – it’s because you’ve fu… slept with her!” Ann shouted, and Anne became a little worried that someone else might overhear. Ann noticed her worried look to the door, and with a glare at her wife she opened it properly,   
“Ann, close the door.”   
“Why?” Ann raised an eyebrow, and Anne stared at her with a stern expression,   
“Because I said so.”   
“I’m not yours to dictate however you want.” Ann growled and Anne stood up making a lot of noise as she did so,   
“You’re my _wife_.” Anne hissed, and Ann shrugged her shoulder,  
“Well, you’re my wife too, and what does that entail? Do you even love me? Or is this all a game to you.”   
“Ann!” Anne cried upset and angry, unsure how this argument had even sparked, there must be more to it than Anne could think off, it wasn’t like Ann to blow up like this.   
“Well, wasn’t it? Just a game.” Ann’s eyes bore into her, and Anne could do naught more than stare,   
“A game to see if you could persuade me to marry you – and then of course, there’s my money… Correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t that the one thing that attracted me to you.” Ann sneered, and Anne’s mouth opened, she was confused – why was she so upset with her? – She wasn’t entirely wrong in what she said – it might have been about that in the beginning but in the end? - No, not at all. They’d backed out into the hallway now, and Anne was concerned about the noise they made.   
“Adney…”   
“Don’t call me that.” Ann spat, and Anne flinched, her jaw tightening,   
“What’s the matter?”   
“Mariana told me, yesterday – when she was here.” Ann admitted and Anne’s eyes widened, ‘that bitch’. Anne hadn’t thought Mary would reveal anything that she’d told her of Miss Walker in the past, some of it which were right down lies because Anne had been in denial about how much she actually cared and loved Ann.   
“Do you want me to leave? I can if you want. I’ll give back your ring and then I’ll leave. I’ll still help you out with money if you like because unlike you, I’m not cunning and callous.” Ann spoke up, trembling but little though Anne could tell she was on the verge of tears,   
“Ann, I don’t want you to leave. What Mary said…” Anne crept nearer but Ann backed away from her,   
“Don’t touch me.” Ann held up her hands in front of her and Anne bit her lip hard not to let a cry out, tears burned in the corner of her eyes, she would kill Mariana if she’d managed to poison Ann against her.   
“Is it true?” Ann wondered, her voice brittle though she was trying to stay angry with Anne, and Anne shook her head,   
“No… well it might have been in the start…”   
Ann let out a sob and Anne felt her heart twinge,   
“But it wasn’t the reason I… Ann, I love you!” Anne reached out for her, but Ann backed away, needing to let it sink in first, only problem was that she’d been at the end of the landing, and as she backed away – she lost the ground under her feet. Anne watched in pure terror as Ann fell down the stairs, frozen in shock – her heart tugging with every thud she heard. When the last loud thud sounded, Anne regained her senses and leapt down the stairs, almost falling herself a couple of times. Reaching Ann’s still form at the bottom of the stairs, Anne was certain her heart stopped for a moment, tears running rapidly down her cheeks as she hunched down touching Ann’s limp body,   
“Ann! Oh God… no.” Anne turned her around in her arms, putting her fingers against her throat, trying to find her pulse – she did, and she sighed in relief, but then she felt something wet against her arm where Ann’s head rested. Anne lifted Ann up slightly and became woozy at the sight of blood – not that she usually was bothered by it – but this was Ann’s blood, and it came from her head. This was all her fault – Anne couldn’t stop the sob escaping her when she saw the deep gash that had been made in the back of Ann’s head – her hair-coloured red from the blood.   
“Anne, is something the matter? I heard yelling!” Marian called from upstairs, but Anne just stared at Ann’s limp form in her arms, pressing her hand against the wound to stop the bleeding,   
“Anne!?” Marian called out again, beginning to take the stairs,   
“Get the doctor!” Anne managed to pant out, and Marian hurried down the stairs, halting when she saw the blonde in Anne’s arms,  
“Oh Lord! What happened!?”   
“She fell down the stairs, and I c-couldn’t stop… it’s all my fault.” Anne murmured clearly in shock and Marian touched her shoulders briefly,   
“I’ll get John to ride out and get Dr Kenny.”   
“No Dr. Day.” Anne begged but Marian were already out the room, and Anne didn’t bother stopping her – they needed someone and quickly.   
  
Mrs Cordingley came running into the room with Joseph in a tail and gasped at the sight of all the blood. Anne turned her head, face blotted red from her tears, and they stared at each other for a second.   
“Miss Marian asked us to help you, ma’am.” Mrs Cordingley explained when Anne hadn’t said anything,  
“Get us warm water and clean cloths.” Anne mumbled, her mind still muddled, and Joseph took another step forward,   
“I’ll help you get Miss Walker upstairs, ma’am, if you like.”   
Anne glanced at him, she was fond enough of Joseph, but he was often a bit featherheaded and she didn’t know if she trusted him not to drop Ann – and her well-being was all that mattered.   
“I’ll… I think it best if we both carry her – she… we can’t risk dropping her.” Anne said eventually and Joseph gave a nod,  
“Of course, Ma’am.”   
“I’ll keep her head pressed against my arm.” Anne told him motioning for him to lift the other half and he hurried to it. They got her upstairs, and into Anne’s bedroom – Joseph said naught about it and Anne thought that if anyone did, she’d just argue her bed was more comfortable.   
  
Mrs. Cordingley rushed up with Eugénie carrying a basin of warm water, clean cloths and a glass of brandy – Mrs. Cordingley thought Miss Lister might need one.   
Anne asked Joseph to keep Ann’s form ‘sitting up’ as she gently cleaned the wound, that were still bleeding, as well as she could before pressing another piece of cloth against it, tying a bandage around it tight – to stop the wound from bleeding. They carefully laid her down after that and Anne sat on the side, holding her hand, glancing at her pale face with fresh tears burning – she would never forgive herself if Ann died. Never.   
Mrs. Cordingley tapped her shoulder carefully,   
“Ma’am, I thought you might need some… to…”   
Anne raised an eyebrow but saw the glass of brandy in her hand and accepted it gratefully before downing its contents, feeling it burn as it washed down her throat but then warmth spread, and she felt a little calmer.   
“Thank you, Elizabeth.” Anne handed her the glass back and they left her for the time being.   
“You’ll be alright.” Anne said to Ann’s unconscious form, trying to reassure herself as well, but the blood had now coloured the bandage and Anne worried for her life.   
  
Marian came inside, clearly troubled at the sight of Ann, but she tried to remain grounded and calm for the sake of her sister,   
“Dr Kenny will be here shortly, Anne. She’ll be alright.”   
“Mm.” Anne mumbled, not equally sure herself, and she didn’t trust Dr Kenny.   
“He will help her.”   
“I won’t leave her.” Anne pressed and Marian raised an eyebrow at that,   
“What do you mean?”   
“When he examines her. I don’t trust him alone with her. She’s not comfortable with him.” Anne explained and for once Marian didn’t argue, she just nodded,   
“Of course – I wouldn’t want Ann to feel ill at ease.”   
Marian approached the bed, and placed her hand on Anne’s back,   
“She’ll be fine – she’s strong. Don’t fret Anne.”  
“What if she doesn’t wake up though?” Anne trembled, and Marian leant down and kissed her cheek,   
“Don’t. She will wake up – I’m sure of it. She wouldn’t leave you alone – who’d keep you out of scrapes then?”  
Marian tried to keep a light tone, forced herself to be strong for her elder sister though she in reality was as worried as she was.   
“’m sorry about before.” Anne mumbled then and Marian eyed her confused,   
“What?”   
“I shouldn’t have mocked you or berated you.” Anne confessed, and Marian smiled half-heartened,   
“No matter. I know you didn’t mean it.”   
“Mm.” Anne tried to breathe calmly, holding Ann’s still hand in hers, begging her to wake up.   
“Would you pen a letter to Dr Belcombe?” Anne wondered then,   
“Of course, anything. What do you want me to write?”   
“Uh, just ask him if he might make the trip here to examine Ann.” Anne replied, and Marian gave a nod, squeezing her shoulders comforting,   
“I’ll do that, and then I’ll come back.”   
“Will you tell Aunt what happened? And father obviously.” Anne called for her attention before she left the room and Marian turned in the door, smiling,   
“Yes. And Don’t forget to breathe, Anne!”  
Anne glanced after her sister briefly thinking to herself, that sometimes Marian was incredibly good to have around.   
  
Dr Kenny came as fast as he could, and he examined Ann who still hadn’t regained her consciousness, or rather she was breathing as though she was sleeping but wouldn’t be stirred out of that state. He had been nervous and annoyed by Anne persisting she’d stay in the room, and she’d refused to let him listen to her heart by pressing his head against her bosom. His verdict was unclear – he couldn’t possibly say if she would wake up or not – the next few days would tell. Anne felt wretched at that and hoped that Dr Belcombe might make the trip fast and give a more proficient verdict. But she suspected she had difficult days ahead of herself.   



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So. Just a heads-up, will post daily except for the 24-25, in other words this story will be completed on the 30 of December. Xx  
> (Today is a double - and only because A03 claims I posted the story on the 17 of December and not the 18th...)  
> Anyway, let's get cracking with the fanficition...

Anne grimaced as her back gave her pain, and she bowed her neck over the bed despite it protesting her movements. Her eyes were swollen and tinted red and beneath them dark circles had appeared under her normally bright and expressive eyes. Her hair was tied only with a piece of ribbon, and hung over her shoulder, and her clothes were in a disarray. Nobody in the household had ever seen Anne Lister so undone – not once, not even when she’d returned from Copenhagen a year ago after fifteen days on a ship in terrible weather conditions.  
They were all beginning to be concerned about her as they hadn’t seen Anne eat for the past four days - tea was the only thing she had been drinking and only because it was right there on the nightstand. She looked terrible – almost ghostlike where she sat. Though no one dare mention it for fear of another fit. Not even Dr Belcombe who’d come to help.  
They hadn’t seen her leave the room, nor for more than two minutes leave the chair that were situated next to the bed. Her hands were constantly dabbing the palest of foreheads, and though it weren’t an unusual habit for Anne to often look at her pocket-watch, they had never seen anyone take someone’s pulse as often or as manically as she did – mostly throughout the nights. If they were to be perfectly candid, they were getting worried for her own health.  
  
“Anne.” Marian spoke softly as she entered the room, Anne looked up for a split second,  
“Mm?”  
“You need to eat something.” Marian crossed her arms frowning at her sister, who did not look up again,  
“I won’t leave her side.” Anne’s voice was tired, a mere raspy whisper and Marian’s frown wore deeper,  
“I will bring you some broth then – but this time you must eat it. You will be no good if you starve.”  
“I have no appetite. I can’t. So, what if I suffer? – If she dies I will…” Anne’s voice cracked and it tugged at Marian’s heart who had never seen her sister so emotional, so discomposed  
“Don’t. Anne, I know what you’re going to say, and don’t.”  
Anne wiped away the tears welling up roughly with the back of her hand,  
“I can’t.”  
“Don’t eat the broth for yourself then. Be strong for her – eat it for her. I imagine Ann will be downright cross with you when she wakes up if she finds out you almost starved.” Marian lectured trying to keep positive, as no one knew for certain if Ann would wake up again. With every passing minute it seemed less and less likely. Dr Belcombe had said that if she didn’t wake up within the next few days – she probably never would. There wasn’t much they could do about it but bide the time – and pray that her brain wouldn’t be too injured if she indeed did wake up. He stuck around though to be at hand if and when she woke up.  
Anne sighed defeated, having no energy to argue with her sister,  
“Fine. Bring me the broth then.”  
Marian left the room, pleased that she had convinced her sister to eat something, or rather relieved that she might tell Aunt Anne and Dr Belcombe not to worry about that anymore. Anne however immediately returned all her focus to her ‘patient’.  
“Ann, come now - wake up! _Please_. Don’t leave me all alone.” Anne murmured with Ann’s hand pressed to her lips, tears raining down her cheeks and onto Ann’s pale limp hand.  
“How am I supposed to live without you? Hm? Don’t do this to me. Oh God - Don’t you dare take her from me!”  
Anne kissed her over the knuckles, and then on her forehead gently and tenderly, though she was fighting hard to keep her sobs at bay so as not to alert the whole household – it wasn’t going great. The sobs shook her, making her ribs ache as she tried to muffle them by biting into her own hands. Anne feared that she might never tell Ann again that she loved her – and hear it back. She feared that the interaction by the stairs would be their last and that Ann would’ve gone without knowing – without being reassured of her love for her. She’d do anything to hear her voice again – knowing that she might never hear that sweet sound again.  
  
Marian came inside with a bowl of broth and placed a warm comforting hand on her sister’s shoulder,  
“Eat Anne – you will feel better, and more hopeful at that. Ann **will** muddle through this. I’m sure she will.”  
“Mm.” Anne couldn’t muster a response through her tears but accepted the broth and started to eat only because Marian was staring down at her, making sure she actually ate it.  
“All of it – or Aunt shall have a fit.”  
Painfully slow Anne managed to eat the whole thing, though her stomach protested, and she felt sick to the gut afterwards having had no food in four days. But Marian was happy at that and took the bowl and left the room – closing the door behind her.  
  
Anne fished her pocket-watch up, and took hold of Ann’s wrist, checking her pulse – watching the seconds that seemed to slow down with every move of the hand. At this point Anne could hardly tell if the pulse was getting stronger or fainter – she had checked so many times every hour for the past four days that she hardly knew. Ann had been coming in and out of consciousness but had never been fully awake after the blow to her head that she had suffered slipping down the stairs. It, worried Anne quite a bit that even if Ann woke, she might have some serious damage done to the brain. Every other hour since the accident Anne had been praying fervently to God that Ann might wake up unharmed – that is to say without lasting brain damage. The ankle was still sprained, her body still bruised, and there was still the wound to her head. With no signs of Ann waking up, Anne dreaded another restless night as darkness and shadows fell over the room.  
  
At midnight, Ann started tossing and turning slightly – cold sweating. Anne dabbed her forehead with a wet cloth, speaking softly to her whilst holding her hand gently with her free one. At two in the morning Ann had soaked her nightgown in sweat and was shivering from the cold. Anne carefully removed the covers, before carefully – like holding a young babe, lifted Ann up so she was half sitting before removing the sheet from underneath her, replacing it with a new one – that obviously wasn’t as carefully bedded. When she had managed to do that successfully she opted to take Ann’s drenched nightgown off before pulling a new one very carefully over her head. Anne placed Ann’s head back gently on the pillows before tucking her in under the covers, pleased that the shivering stopped. Though Anne herself was half drenched in sweat after that work.  
After checking Ann’s pulse again, Anne sat back in the chair with a blanket wrapped around her – watching Ann until her eyes closed and she fell asleep by pure exhaustion.


	3. Chapter 3

Ann awoke with a startle as she had envisioned herself falling in her dream. She groaned quietly as she moved though for there was a terrible pain to the back of her head. Ann kept her eyes shut as if to stop the blinding pain she felt. It eased somewhat as she lay completely still. Though she was confounded by it for she didn’t remember bumping her head on anything. But something must have happened to take her to bed Ann concluded.   
It was quiet around her though, which was odd – because normally whenever she was ill or indisposed her loud relatives would come around and sit with her – or worse call Dr Kenny over. It was as if everyone always hoped that she would be too ill at some point and declared unfit to keep Crow nest and her money by herself thus giving them charge over it.   
  
Ann forced her heavy lids to open, curious by the lack of sound and this time her eyes did her bidding – they opened. But to say that Ann was confused by the sight was a grave understatement. She wasn’t at Crow nest; she had no idea where she was. Last she remembered she had been returning home with her Aunt Ann, they had been in a carriage accident, but they had got home safely due to the kind Listers’ who had let them borrow their chaise. Ann smiled for a second almost by default. She’d love to meet Miss Lister again someday, and to think that she was expected there soon… Ann scolded herself, she needed to find out where she was, she hadn’t left her house at all after arriving home, that much she was certain of – had she been kidnapped? Someone might have broken in and hit her over the head – it would explain the terrible headache, and unknown surroundings. Ann could feel her heart beat faster in her chest, who was her kidnapper then? – As if it first occurred to her then Ann turned her eyes to have a look around the room and noticed someone sitting next to her – a woman.   
Was this the kidnapper’s watch? Ann couldn’t see the woman’s features because the light didn’t fall on her face. Slightly more panicked, Ann tried to think of what to do next– screaming seemed like a terrible idea – but maybe she could get this woman to help her – she might be convinced to not do the kidnapper’s bidding, Ann could pay her double the money the kidnapper had possibly offered her… It would probably be her one chance at escaping.   
  
Though Ann felt that her mouth was dry, she mustered the courage to speak up, she hadn’t time to fret too much,   
“Excuse me.”   
It came out croaky, and brittle, and Ann tried clearing her throat,   
“Would you please help me?”   
Ann managed to speak a little louder and it startled the figure in the chair, who almost fell out of her seat,   
“Ann! Oh, good God! You’re awake!”   
The woman was immediately at her direct side, looking down at her with worry etched across the face, making Ann believe this might not be a kidnapper or his or her watch. She kissed her cheek, and Ann tensed up, but she held her hands against the sides of her face,   
“I’m sorry, so sorry! I shouldn’t have – I…”   
And only then as the candlelight flickered over the woman’s face did Ann see who her watcher was, and she interrupted her,   
“Miss Lister?!”   
Ann was confused, and though her voice cracked a bit, she was earned a wide smile, though Anne was a bit downcast at her calling her so formally – suspecting she was still angry with her,   
“Yes?! Do you need water, Ad… Ann?”   
Ann was bewildered at Miss Lister’s relaxed attitude against her, they had met but once formally and before then Ann had only ever seen Miss Lister from a distance and besides she was never at Shibden but always off in the world travelling. Ann was enthralled by her though, and here she was right next to her? Ann couldn’t grasp why though, they didn’t know each other and why would Miss Lister find her, who was boring and certainly not clever enough, interesting when she herself was so intelligent and exuberant.   
When Anne held up a glass of water, Ann seemed to realise she hadn’t replied and smiled in a way that she thought might look grateful, her hands fidgeting with the covers nervously, her cheeks warm and red, but her eyes never left hers,  
“Thank you.”   
Anne helped Ann sit up better so she could sip on the water, without risking choking on it or spill it all over herself. Ann’s skin prickled at her touch and she felt her heart begin to race in her chest and was certain the colour rose further in her cheeks, as she was so close – close enough for Ann to inhale her smell, but then Anne sat back on the bed and Ann felt slightly foolish for being so excited by her presence.   
“How are you feeling? How is your head?” Anne asked with a soft expression that made Ann blush more, and she struggled to find words, too swept up in her own nervousness around Miss Lister, wanting to say the right thing and not seem so foolish,   
“Oh, eh, I’m a bit confused, as for the head it is hurting quite much.”   
“Do you mind if I take a look?” Anne wondered and Ann shook her head carefully, Anne sat herself closer beside Ann to be able to gently remove the bandage and dressing wrapped around her head. With caring, gentle fingers Anne cleaned the wound, though it made her feel awful every time Ann hissed in pain, before dressing her head with a new fresh cloth. When Anne had tied the bandage, she kissed Ann’s forehead, making Ann blush furiously, looking everywhere but at Anne, feeling her heart might just explode – confused as to why Miss Lister made her feel that way. And though Anne herself raised an eyebrow at this visible embarrassment Ann were displaying – she said naught about it, she interpreted it as though Ann was still upset with her – and rightly so.   
“When did you come back?” Ann managed to squeak, as she remembered them saying they weren’t expecting Miss Lister for another while when they had stopped at Shibden after the accident, and that wasn’t even a day ago as far as Ann was concerned.   
At this question Anne’s forehead scrunched up, and she seemed to examine Ann slowly before answering,   
“What are you talking about, Ann? I haven’t been anywhere but here.”   
“But your aunt and sister said…” Ann paused, “Surely you haven’t been around at Shibden, hiding for months?”   
“Hiding? My aunt and my sister? – I have been right here by your side – I would never leave you like this.” Anne spoke carefully and observed Ann with a worried expression written all over her face.   
“About that, how come I am here?” Ann asked, and Anne moved slightly,   
“Well, I figured my bed was more comfortable for you.”   
“This is your bed?” Ann twisted a little, gazing at the bed, she couldn’t believe it – why would Miss Lister offer her own bed. She was too good, too kind.   
“Yes… it’s the same old as always.” Anne replied confused, and Ann gave a nod, smiling faintly,  
“Oh, alright um, but I meant why I am here, at Shibden.”   
“Oh. Mm. Wha...” Anne rubbed her temples with her fingers, looking even more tired than Ann had thought she did at first, and Ann watched her as she seemed to be deep in thought.   
“Ann, is this about the quarrel? Had you rather not be here? Because I am sorry – I didn’t mean, and I…”   
“I’m sorry, Miss Lister? What quarrel? I had just arrived home with my Aunt Ann after travelling and I just don’t know how I ended up here. It seems a little far to have sleep-walked all this way” Ann replied hoping Miss Lister would understand she was only confused, and not ungrateful but Anne looked at her with her mouth slightly open,   
“Oh fuck.”  
“Pardon?” Ann was surprised at Miss Lister’s use of language, and Anne held her hand up,  
“No, sorry. Um, this was 1832 hm?”   
“Yes…” Ann looked as though she started doubting herself, and Anne groaned, before letting her dark eyes fall on Ann again,   
“I should go and rouse Dr Belcombe and let him look at you.”   
“What?” Ann spoke troubled, wondering why Miss Lister suddenly looked so much paler,   
“They need to examine your head, check for any brain damage.” Anne tried smiling reassuringly at her, but Ann only seemed more anxious at that,  
“Brain damage?!”   
“Argh, well, you’ve been unconscious for a few days and there might be something the matter because of it.” Anne tried to phrase it as gently as she could to not scare the living daylights out of Ann whom she knew to overthink and worry over things, and to be fair – possible brain damage was something to be quite worried about.   
“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” Ann bit her lip and Anne took her hands in hers, sitting down again,   
“No. Ah, no. Um… well,”   
Anne blew air out of her nose trying to think on her feet – what should she tell Ann?   
“Tell me, _please_!” Ann plead, squeezing her hands tighter, and Anne sighed, running a hand through her hair,   
“I think your brain was traumatised by the blow to your head because you have lost memories.”   
“What?” Ann, her was voice brittle and Anne smiled softly at her though a worry line ran across her forehead,   
“You said that the last memory you had was from that day – when you were in an accident above Shibden in 1832.”   
“Yes.” Ann affirmed, but then she frowned looking at Anne distressed,   
“Didn’t that happen?”   
Anne nodded,   
“Well, that happened but it wasn’t yesterday. Today’s the fifth of December… 1834.”   
“But that’s… that’s impossible! I am not lying. It…”   
“Ann, hush, I know you’re not lying. I am owning it did happen, but your memories must’ve been lost with the fall – though I’m certain, well positive they will be restored in due time. But Dr Belcombe will be able to give a better verdict than I.” Anne held her right hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down.   
“But what am I doing here then? At Shibden. Why am I here?” Ann questioned, still worked up and troubled about her memories and state of mind.   
“Um…” Anne paused to think, working hard to try and figure out a plausible explanation to why Ann was there without needing to tell her the truth which might from what she now didn’t remember – be shocking to say the least.   
“You’re staying here for a while. F-For company.” Anne said eventually hoping it came across as convincing.  
"I am?” Ann didn’t seem too downcast at that, but as she pondered it, she seemed to get more anxious again,  
“Why? Did the tribe finally convince Elizabeth I was too invalid to keep Crow nest? Do they think I’m insane?! Do you?”   
“No! Oh Lord, Ann no – you are still very much the owner and keeper of Crow nest. Um… you are tired and should rest – I wouldn’t want to overexert you.” Anne said holding Ann’s hand in hers, Ann’s eyes went from their hands to the dark ones watching her,“You won’t call for Dr Kenny, will you?”   
“Oh, for heaven’s sake - no! He is worthless, too familiar with you and had me cross the North Sea in the middle of the winter. Dr Belcombe is here, and he will take care of you.” Anne reassured her, and Ann smiled weakly as Anne left the room – and she was certain she heard a sob out in the hallway but then the sound died out and she waited anxiously for this Dr Belcombe to come and examine her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer: I am by no means anything resembling a doctor - I have no idea what I'm talking about. <\- Beyond psychology, I know nothing regarding the brain or real memory loss. And that's on me for taking history and religious studies at uni. Please don't hate on my poor attempts at playing doctor - thank you kindly. Xx

Ann watched in suspense as the door to Miss Lister’s bedroom opened, new people always managed to unnerve her. However, as the door closed and the man came into view, Ann let out a breath of relief – he didn’t look or present himself in a way that made her too uncomfortable. He had a kind face, and a calmness about him that felt safer than Dr Kenny’s stance.  
“Good evening, Miss Walker, I’m happy to see you awake again, you gave us quite the fright just then.” Dr Belcombe spoke softly approaching the bed with his medical bag in hand,  
“Dr Belcombe?” Ann greeted uncertain and he smiled,  
“The very same. Now, Miss Lister told me you were a bit confused about being here and that you couldn’t remember past the accident above the Hall two years ago. Is that right?”  
“Well, yes.” Ann replied still completely bewildered by the fact that she couldn’t remember – it was all so clear in her mind – the happening. Dr Belcombe nodded,  
“I’m sure we’ll clear this mess up. But I’d like to take a look at you. Listen to your heart, check the swelling of your ankle and then have a look at the main injury to your head.”  
“Miss Lister changed the dressing.” Ann found herself saying and Dr Belcombe seemed amused,  
“Did she? – I’m not surprised, Miss Lister is very good at things like that. However, I will need to undo it to examine the wound and how its healing. Though I’m certain, there is nothing to be worried about – If Miss Lister didn’t tell me so.”  
Ann exhaled slowly, trying to calm down – Doctors always made her nervous, but she had to give it to Dr Belcombe – he seemed kind and able rather than creepy and touchy.  
“I’m going to remove the covers and have a look at your ankle first.” Dr Belcombe warned her as to not surprise the nervous woman and she gave a nod, and he lifted the covers gently.  
“Wait”” Ann cried out before she could stop it and he dropped the covers looking at her gently,  
“Is something wrong?”  
“I’d just…” Ann blushed, she felt rather foolish, but she didn’t feel safe being alone with a man in a room – Ainsworth kept crawling into her mind and her heart hammered harder in her chest. Dr Belcombe waited patiently next to the bed for her to say something,  
“If you don’t mind, I’d like someone else in here too.” Ann stuttered eventually, and Dr Belcombe nodded,  
“Of course, I’m sorry if I caused you any uneasiness. I’ll ask someone to come inside.”  
Ann pressed her hands against her face, trying to cool her hot cheeks down – she hated being a bothersome burden to people.  
  
Within minutes Dr Belcombe returned with Anne in a toil,  
“I brought Miss Lister if that’s alright?”  
“Mm.” Ann murmured embarrassed unable to look her in the eye, certain that Miss Lister found her troublesome. Ann sank down with the mattress, as Anne placed herself on the side of the bed, holding her hand, as Dr Belcombe once again stood at the foot of the bed, asking permission to lift the covers and examine her ankle. Ann gritted her teeth but little as he touched the swollen, bruised ankle, wearing a concentrated look,  
“It’s healing, though I wouldn’t recommend walking on it too much over the next few days – try not to put too much weight on it. But don’t keep entirely still.”  
Ann chewed on her lip, glancing at Miss Lister carefully, humming in reply as Dr Belcombe brought his stethoscope out to have a listen at her heart. Without thinking Ann grasped Miss Lister’s hand tighter, eying her uneasily – her mind involuntarily taking her back to when Mr Ainsworth had… Ann winched, and Anne glanced at her concerned, stroking away a tear that had escaped over her cheek,  
“Are you alright?”  
“Mm.” Ann murmured; she couldn’t possibly tell Miss Lister what was going through her mind at the moment – certain that she would be repulsed by her if she did.  
“Heart sounds fine.” Dr Belcombe stated, putting his stethoscope away, giving Ann a reassuring sort of look – thinking she did look rather queasy. Anne noticed the slightly green colour on her face too and wondered quietly,  
“Do you need something to throw up in?”  
“No.” Ann squeaked, and Anne held her hand tighter in hers, hoping it gave her some comfort though she wished she could hold her in her arms, and kiss her –talk to her as usual. Give her some real comfort.   
“Unfortunately, I will need to look at that head wound.” Dr Belcombe apologised, knowing that it was going to bring her pain. But Ann gave a numb nod, tears brimming in her eyes – thinking she’d rather that than have the memories playing before her eyes that she now had.  
“Anne, will you help Miss Walker sit up?” Dr Belcombe addressed Miss Lister and the woman immediately obliged, helping Ann lean forwards – holding her in a secure grip to allow Dr Belcombe to examine her head properly.  
  
“It looks good. I’m pleased to say that it’s healing nicely – there will be a scar, but your hair will cover that.” Dr Belcombe said as he dressed her head again and Ann frowned,  
“But my memories?”  
“I can’t promise they will all come back. But usually with this sort of trauma to the brain – it does heal, meaning your memories will come back when your brain is restored.” Dr Belcombe offered her the best explanation he could give, and Ann accepted it – though it was frustrating not knowing what or when.  
“What happened?” Ann wondered meekly and Anne shared a look with Dr Belcombe and with his approval she turned to Ann,  
“You lost your balance at the landing and fell down the stairs.”  
“What?” Ann seemed even more confused, and Anne bit her lip, she couldn’t tell her why,  
“Mm. Unfortunate accident.”  
“I’m still not quite sure why I am here…” Ann began, and Anne glanced at Dr Belcombe who stared at her shaking his head, and Anne sighed, hating that she had to lie,   
“As I said, you’re staying here for company. You were feeling lonely, and your Aunt spoke to my aunt and the thing was decided.”  
“Oh.” Ann’s face fell slightly, her aunt had burdened Miss Lister with her then, and all hopes of her having a possible friendship with Miss Lister died. Disappointed that her life probably hadn’t evolved to be more exciting over the past two years, Ann rested back against the pillows – feeling even guiltier about occupying Miss Lister’s bed than before.  
“Miss Lister, a word with you.” Dr Belcombe called for her attention by the door and Anne looked up, and though not wanting to leave Ann she understood that they needed to speak about what to do and so she stood up, turning to her, smiling faintly,  
“I’ll ask Marian to come sit with you.”   
“Thank you.” Ann said quietly, feeling the loss of her company acutely, though she would never dare ask her to stay – she wouldn’t bother Miss Lister anymore, than she already evidently had.   
  
Dr Belcombe followed Anne into her study, and they had a nice long chat about how to proceed with Ann.  
“I am asking you not to mention anything about your companionship to her. She’s in a frail state of mind right now and we want her to recover.”  
“Fine. But if she starts asking questions – I shan’t lie to her.” Anne protested and Dr Belcombe sighed,  
“Don’t overexert her head at present Anne, in a few days you might begin to talk about things like that. But I am imploring you to keep a low profile over the next days. Ask Marian to sit with her, or even your aunt but don’t do it yourself.”  
“I can’t leave her.” Anne seemed appalled by the suggestion and Dr Belcombe eyed her seriously,  
“Just for a few days, Anne – for her sake.”   
“Alright then.” Anne gave in, dragging her hands over her face,  
“Get yourself cleaned up, and rest, Anne- Doctor’s orders.” Dr Belcombe smirked at his old friend and Anne shook her head at him, laughing despite herself,  
“Will you stay for a little while longer – keep an eye on her?” Anne wondered and he frowned,  
“I need to get back to York – but I will return in three days to check up on her – and we might discuss then if it is wise for you to sit with her.”  
“Good. Excellent.” Anne affirmed, keeping a brave façade up, though she’d rather him leave her to herself so she might have a bath and a good cry. Would Ann be restored? Anne didn’t know and it was killing her. 


	5. Chapter 5

“Marian”  
Anne approached her sister who sat in-front of the fire, drinking tea despite the late hour, or Anne granted, as she glanced at the clock on the mantel – early hour – she was nearing five.  
“Is she going to be alright?” Marian wondered, and Anne could tell she’d been crying and with a sigh Anne nodded,  
“He thinks so. But she… um, she doesn’t remember me.”  
“What?” Marian’s eyes widened as she sat her cup down with unnecessary force and Anne bit her lip, running her hand over her own stiff shoulders,  
“Well, she remembers me… but not **us**. She doesn’t remember meeting me again – she doesn’t know that we’re companions to one another – has no idea we live together nor that we’ve travelled. Last she remembered she came home after the accident above the Hall in ‘32.”  
“Oh.” Marian didn’t know what to say to comfort her sister, she knew what misery and agony she’d suffered over the past days and could tell that Anne tried to remain strong because Ann had woken up – and that was good, but she suspected Anne was devastated with this new discovery.  
“Mm. Dr Belcombe doesn’t think, I should sit with her. He thinks I will cause her to overexert her brain or… So.” Anne tried to compose herself - thinking that they’d been much too emotional with each other these past few days.  
“You want me to sit with her?” Marian raised her eyebrow and Anne let out a breath, nodding,  
“Would you?”   
“Of course. I adore Ann, and besides you need to rest Anne.” Marian told her, standing up giving her sister a cup of steaming tea, Anne accepted it from her, and Marian held her at her arms, and kissed her cheek briskly,  
“She’ll be alright, Anne. Take care of yourself now. I’ll come get you immediately if there’s anything the matter with her at all.”  
“Thank you, Marian.” Anne called after her sister, and as she brought the cup to her lips, she thought to herself ‘I guess Marian isn’t completely useless to have around… sometimes’.  
  
Ann heard the door crack open and she wished that it was Miss Lister coming back to sit with her. Her face fell slightly when Marian Lister entered, but then she reprimanded herself – ‘ _you’re being silly, why would Miss Lister waste her precious time on you’.  
_“How are you feeling?” Marian asked kindly as she sat down in the chair beside her bed, Ann tried to smile as convincingly as she could with the pain and all that,  
“I’m… on the mend. I think I’ll be good to go in a few days.”  
“Go?” Marian watched her confused, trying to catch her eye but Ann stared at the wall, cheeks flushed, wringing her hands in front of her,  
“Well, I must, eh, I, um need to go home.”  
“Don’t worry about that, Miss Walker. Shibden will be your home for as long as you like.” Marian offered, unsure how much she herself was allowed to tell her. Ann smiled genuinely at that, quite liking the idea of having people near who cared for her – living with people as a family.  
“Thank you, you are too kind.”  
“Don’t mention it. We are all delighted to have you.” Marian smiled though for a brief second it was more of a grimace as she thought of her poor sister who were hurting. Ann noticed but she thought the grimace was because Miss Lister might not be as happy to have her there – in her home.  
“Would you like something to eat, Miss Walker?” Marian said then, and Ann scrunched her face up in thought,  
“I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”  
“You’re not. Are you hungry? You must ravenous! - Everyone is already up; breakfast is no trouble.” Marian chuckled kindly, being on her absolute best behaviour to ease Ann – feeling all the sadness of Ann being back inside her shell - her confidence gone with her memories.  
“Yes then please, thank you.” Ann stuttered, and Marian smiled, taking hold of one her hands to comfort her,  
“I will ask them to bring a tray up for us and I’ll sit with you if you like.”  
“Thank you!” Ann smiled weakly, thinking to herself that she was only lucky to have been there, at Shibden, when this happened – her own family would’ve no doubt been overbearing and condescending but there was none of that here – only kindness and hospitality. Marian rose from her seat and went outside to ask for a tray.  
Anne stood outside the door and Marian raised an eyebrow at her sister, closing the door behind her.  
“Anne – get some rest, something to eat and a bath!”  
“Is she alright?” Anne ignored Marian and she sighed,  
“Yes. I’m getting us something to eat – now, you do as I say, or I will fill Ann’s head with all sorts about you.”  
“Promise me you’ll come if she somehow…”  
“I’ll get you if anything changes – if she remembers anything or gets worse again.” Marian promised her sister, and then brought her with her downstairs to ask Mrs. Cordingley for a tray and for Hemingway and Eugénie to draw Anne a bath. Marian gave Anne no time to protest but left her with a stern look before she returned to Ann with Cordingley and breakfast.  
  
“Breakfast is served.” Marian said in a jaunty voice as she entered the bedroom again and Ann smiled back at her,  
“Thank you, you needn’t have.”  
“Pish posh – you think we would let injured people starve under our roof?” Marian helped Ann with a plate and dismissed Cordingley. Ann ate slowly and silently at first, wondering where Miss Lister had gone. She’d seemed so kind when Ann had woken up, but she guessed that was just mere courtesy– because it was her house, and she was a guest there. Ann touched the spot on her cheek where Anne had kissed her, feeling something stir within her at the thought of it, something – a feeling, she couldn’t name.  
“Are you thinking about something special?” Marian wondered after observing her face for a little while and Ann grew embarrassed; she couldn’t well tell her that she was thinking about her sister and the kiss placed on her cheek nor mention the fact that she wanted Miss Lister to come back so she could finally talk to her again.  
“I guess I’m just trying to remember.”  
“You will and in the meantime, I’ll be right here, and you rest as much as possible and soon, they, your memories, might come flooding back to you.” Marian reassured her and she smiled gratefully,  
“I hope so, I wouldn’t want to impose on Miss Lister’s hospitality for too long.”  
Marian had to bite her tongue down not to laugh at the young woman, she was so worried about what Anne was thinking and how she felt about her being there, it was almost comical– and Marian wanted, badly, to tell Ann the truth but she wasn’t allowed.  
“Do not worry about Anne, I am sure she doesn’t mind.”  
Ann nodded slowly to not upset her wound, and Marian offered her smile, trying to steer the conversation into safer subjects. 


	6. Chapter 6

Ann knew she was being silly for thinking so much about Miss Lister – for missing her when she didn’t even know her and especially since Marian had been so kind as to sit with her, every day since waking up. But Ann hadn’t seen Miss Lister since that first day, three days ago. She was now confident that Miss Lister must loathe her and be annoyed with her presence. Because whenever Ann tried to talk about or ask about her, Marian seemed to change the topic and Ann suspected it was to not hurt her feelings.   
  
This morning Dr Belcombe was expected to arrive to examine Ann again, and she was a bit fretful as she had remembered nothing since waking up. Worried he might have a much more dire verdict today. Ann had tried – tried to concentrate on remembering something but without any luck; she was just as much in the dark as she’d been three days ago. She did wonder if she would see Miss Lister today though – she had sat with her through his last examination and she hoped dearly that she would come back this time too. Ann hoped she might make a better impression on her – double her efforts to make her like her instead.   
  
Marian came inside the room and Ann felt a wave of disappointment hit her, but nevertheless she smiled at the woman, and Marian let Dr Belcombe in from behind her,   
“Good morning, Miss Walker, how do you do?”   
“Much improved. Though…” Ann trailed off, thinking for a split second if she didn’t say anything about no memories returning – then he couldn’t give her any bad news.   
“There have been no memories recollected.” Dr Belcombe finished her sentence for her, and she looked puzzled at him,   
“Yes, how did you know?”   
“Miss Lister told me downstairs.” Dr Belcombe told her with a shrug, smiling at her but Ann was confounded, because Miss Lister hadn’t spoken to her for three days, she hadn’t even seen her. How would she know? Marian seemed to notice her confusion, and as she wasn’t supposed to see Anne - hurriedly said,   
“I hope you didn’t mind me telling Dr Belcombe a little bit about your recovery before we went upstairs.”   
“Oh.” Ann’s face fell, as hope once again had begun dwelling within her that Miss Lister didn’t loathe her.   
“Oh, yes. Miss _Marian._ ” Dr Belcombe realised his blunder, scratching his head, before holding his medical bag up before him,   
“I will take a look at you now if I may, and Miss Marian will stay with us, so you needn’t worry.”   
Ann happily complied with that though her mind was still full of thoughts and worries.   
  
Dr Belcombe hadn’t even made it all the way downstairs when Anne appeared down by them and he laughed at her but only very kindly,   
“I thought you had business to attend to, Anne.”   
“They can wait. How is she?” Anne wondered insistent and Dr Belcombe walked the last few steps, taking her by the shoulder pointing into the sitting room,   
“Let’s talk in there.”   
Anne’s heart began beating harder, worried something had happened.   
“What’s wrong?”   
“Nothing’s wrong, everything’s fine, Anne. She just needs more rest.”   
“Should I be worried that she hasn’t begun remembering yet?” Anne wondered, and Dr Belcombe shook his head,   
“Not yet. It hasn’t even been a week since she woke up. These things take time.”   
“How much longer will I need to keep out of her sight?”   
“Until she’s begun remembering.” Dr Belcombe told her sadly, and Anne pressed her hand over her mouth, trying her hardest not to cry in front of Dr Belcombe,   
“Couldn’t I sit with her? I needn’t say anything.” Anne tried and he sighed,   
“I don’t think you should, Anne. There is little to no research on this type of injury and I don’t think we should risk it.”   
“But how long? I… she’s very dear to me.”   
“I know, and I’m sorry I haven’t any better news to give you. All though, I suppose if you sat with her while she slept there would be no harm done.” Dr Belcombe offered, and Anne smiled half-heartened,   
“It’s better than not seeing her at all.”   
“Be patient, Anne – she will recover from this.” Dr Belcombe told her seriously before taking his leave of her. Leaving her with a little glimmer of hope that Ann might soon be better.   
“She will be better.” Aunt Anne comforted her, as she came into the room with the help of Hemingway, Anne smiled up at her, though tears were in her eyes,   
“I know.”   
“Marian said she’s asking a lot about you.” Aunt Anne told her, taking her hand in hers, as she sat down next to her on the sofa,   
“Is she?”   
“Mm, she was always very fond of you, Ann - wasn’t she?”   
“Mm.” Anne couldn’t help but smile at that, Ann was truly godsend, and she missed her dearly.   
“Marian tries to keep her from it though, since she’s not supposed to overexert herself, but I fear that might have left Miss Walker with the impression that you don’t like her.”   
“What?” Anne sat up straighter in her seat, she had no idea, and her aunt might’ve realised that she’d let something slip, for she looked troubled,   
“I thought Marian had told you that, but perhaps she didn’t want you to worry.”  
“I’ll sit with her tonight.” Anne stated determined - nothing could persuade her from it, and her Aunt nodded, kissing her hand,   
“You do that. I think she’ll appreciate it. We might tell her in the morning that you sat with her - so she won’t think you loathe her.”  
“Dr Belcombe did say though that she shouldn’t…” Anne began, and her aunt interrupted her,   
“Ah, Doctors have been wrong before. How is she supposed to remember if she thinks you loathe her?”   
Anne gave a chuckle, and kissed her aunt’s cheek, before standing up – brightened by her words,   
“You are brilliant!”   
“I know that, dear – but I don’t mind you telling me once in a while.”   
Anne laughed at her, snorting loudly, she hadn’t felt this hopeful at any time since Ann had woken up. She was well excited to sit by Ann’s side all night – even if she were asleep, she had missed her immensely these past few days and longed for night so she might see her again. 


	7. Chapter 7

Anne had paced the floors in Ann’s bedroom for two hours, trying to read a few chapters in her book on Geology but it failed to keep her attention for longer than a minute at a time. Anne glanced at her watch, tapping her foot against the floor - what was taking so long? – Ann should be asleep by now; she was nearing one. Was Marian wilfully keeping Ann up to spite Anne? Anne sighed, no that wasn’t likely, Marian had been more than happy to agree to this scheme. Chances were that Ann was just feeling a bit melancholy or alike, having trouble falling asleep. How Anne longed to sit with her – to comfort her… God, let her remember soon, Anne prayed, eying the cross on the wall pleadingly. There was a soft knock on the door, and Marian appeared before her,  
“She’s asleep but tread lightly – she’s fussing a bit.”  
“Right, thank you, Marian.” Anne managed to say before hurrying out in the corridor, tiptoeing into her own room, careful not to stir Ann from her slumber. It felt odd sneaking into her own room, creeping on her own wife – but it was, a little bit exciting as well.  
Anne sank down in the chair next to her bed, crossing her legs slowly – trying to make no sound, eying Ann intently as she did so. She looked so incredibly sweet Anne thought as she gazed at her – she had to stop herself from reaching out to tuck her lose blonde curls behind her ears. Observing her chest heave up and down calmly, Anne relaxed more than she had in days, and she realised just how much she’d missed her. No matter that she’d been in here – she had been so close and yet so far away. Anne stopped her hand mid-way, pulling it back to herself – she needed to keep herself in check, just gazing at Ann had to suffice for now.  
Anne brought her book up that had been resting on the nightstand, picking up from where she’d left off – glancing every so often at Ann to see if she was still sleeping and to admire her. Her wife was so beautiful she thought sighing quietly to herself before continuing to read her book.  
  
Half-way through her book she paused to look at her watch – she must be nearing three in the morning by now. Anne fidgeted a bit to reach her pocket-watch, her eyes raising to look at her sleeping wife but when they found her face, she froze – hand still in pocket, eyes wide,  
“Eh… how long have you been awake?”  
“Um, for a bit. I didn’t want…. I… uh, I’d hate to disturb your r-reading.” Ann replied her, her cheeks turning a bit crimson. Anne turned in her seat, uncrossing her legs, putting the book on the nightstand – trying to find a good reason to leave. She wasn’t supposed to be in here. She might be thwarting Ann’s recovery which was the last thing she wanted.  
“I… How are you feeling?” Anne found herself asking – needing to hear from herself that she was doing better. Ann’s lips twitched upwards,  
“Better, thank you. Though of course it hurts if and when I move.”  
“I’m glad to hear it. We do want you to get better.” Anne smiled relieved at her, standing up reluctantly, not wanting to leave,  
“I should tell um… Marian that you’ve woken up.”  
“Wait!” Ann called out, regretting it immediately as it sounded rather desperate and she did want Miss Lister to think well of her. Anne stopped, and turned around immediately, eying her softly,  
“Is something the matter? Do you need anything?”  
“I… I’m sorry to be… to be a bother is all. I am very grateful to be here.” Ann mumbled embarrassed, tears welling up in her eyes as she cursed herself for being such a mess trying to impress Miss Lister – and failing miserably. But Anne beamed at her,  
“We are happy to have you, and it’s no inconvenience at all, Ann.”  
Ann couldn’t help a wide-spread smile as Miss Lister called her by her first name, and Anne was only pleased to see her smiling genuinely again,  
“Thank you! Um that’s exceedingly kind. I’m sorry to have imposed myself on you like this. I’m not good company at present – not that I’m usually…” Ann trailed off, averting her eyes and Anne couldn’t leave her – she should but couldn’t.  
“I don’t think you’re being fair on yourself; I happen to think that you are splendid company.”  
Ann looked up at her astonished, she didn’t even think Miss Lister liked her that much, to hear such words from her – meant everything to Ann,  
“But I thought… I thought you didn’t like me?” Ann blurted out before being able to stop herself and Anne grimaced at that, conflicted about what to do or say,  
“You don’t have to answer… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put you on the spot like that.” Ann hurriedly said, already feeling as though she’d made the biggest cock-up in conversation this century.  
“I…” Anne exhaled, trying to decide on what to do, but eventually she went over to Ann, taking her hand in hers, kissing it chaste,  
“I don’t like you; I love you. You are one of my greatest friends.”  
Ann’s eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Miss Lister in disbelief not daring to think that was true. What on earth had happened these past two years that had made her gain Miss Lister’s favour?  
“I am?” Ann said dumbfounded and Anne chortled quietly, touching her cheek with her hand gently,  
“Yes. But I’m not supposed to be in here – they think I might delay your recovery.”  
Ann looked disappointed at that, and Anne mirrored her,  
“When will you come back then?” Ann wondered, and Anne smiled sadly,   
“When you start to remember is what I was told.”  
“But – if we are such good friends, wouldn’t that help me rather than not?” Ann quirked an eyebrow and Anne sighed, shrugging her shoulders,  
“I don’t know. I thought it might, but Dr Belcombe doesn’t want us risking anything.”  
“What if I wanted to risk it? – I don’t think I will begin to recollect anything unless talking to someone who… who would spark the memories to come back.”  
“Uh, I guess if you wanted me to stay – I couldn’t refuse you.” Anne gave in, too weak to stand against the temptation of staying. Ann seemed to cheer up at that,  
“You could come by at night, and we could talk for a bit – couldn’t we? And they needn’t know.”  
Anne laughed at her quietly – praying no one would hear them, and she nodded,  
“Alright then. But I can’t tell you anything really.”  
“I can live with that.” Ann retorted, thinking to herself that she was just grateful and joyous having her for company.


	8. Chapter 8

Ann fell back asleep closer to six in the morning, and Anne kissed her forehead, tucking her in safely before leaving the bedroom. Anne couldn’t help to almost skip down the corridor to her study to write for a while in her journal – she needn’t stir Marian from her sleep yet as Ann was well and sleeping. It was a wonder Anne didn’t fall asleep over her journal as she wrote – her eyes drooped heavy from the lack of sleep over the course of the week since Ann’s accident. But she wanted to unburden her mind, and revel in the moment’s shared with Ann that night. She was incredibly thankful that she was alive, and she would never take her or her love for granted again. Anne smiled to herself just thinking about Ann and didn’t even notice that her head started lolloping down to rest on the open page of her journal.   
  
“Anne?! How long have you been sleeping in here?” Marian called out, and Anne’s head flew up from the page and she wiped drool off her chin – opening her eyes wide,   
“I’m awake!”   
“You’ve got ink on the right side of your face.” Marian tried hard not to laugh at her delirious sister, and Anne reached her hand up touching her cheek, frowning – looking down at her page – it was a little smudged.   
“I couldn’t find my ink blotter…”   
“Right… I won’t taunt you about it, and only because you haven’t slept properly in days but… hm. Was Ann alright tonight?”   
“Mm, she was sound asleep throughout.” Anne lied, hoping her sister wouldn’t question it, Marian gave a nod,   
“She must’ve been exhausted, she hasn’t woken up yet.”   
“What time is it?” Anne rubbed her eyes trying to force them to focus,   
“She’s nearing nine.”   
“Mm, I need to freshen up – I’ve got a man to see at half ten.” Anne stood up, stretching her sore back and neck, closing and storing her journal away.   
“I’ll come get you if anything changes.”   
“Thank you.”   
Anne left to ready for the day and Marian went in to sit with Ann – and Anne only hoped that Ann didn’t say something to reveal the fact that they’d been up talking during the night.   
**  
**Ann was stirred from her slumber by the faint sounds that Marian made sitting in the chair embroidering. She smiled to herself, thinking about the night and Anne. She longed for tonight when they’d meet again to chat.  
“Morning.” Marian said gently and Ann startled from her thoughts of Anne, turning her eyes to Marian on the chair,   
“Good morning.”   
“Did you have a good sleep?” Marian wondered, pausing her needlework to look at Ann who still smiled,   
“Oh, yes. Thank you. What time is it?”   
“She’s twenty minutes past ten.” Marian responded, before picking up her needle again, Ann raised an eyebrow at that – it was rather late in the morning, then again, she grinned – they had been up till six talking.   
“What are you thinking about?” Marian smirked, noticing Ann’s wide smile and the blonde blushed, trying to think of something to say,   
“Um, nothing I just… um, I am just really happy to be here. I have always admired Shibden.”   
“Oh really?” Marian chirped amused,   
“We are glad to have your company, Anne too.”   
Marian smiled at the young woman – thinking she’d reassure her that her sister didn’t loathe her, but the blonde merely shone up,   
“I know.”   
“You know?” Marian seemed baffled, because yesterday Ann had been fretting about Anne not liking her – unless - Marian’s eyes widened, but she said naught to Ann about it.   
“I meant, that I’m… ouch.” Ann brought her hand to the back of her head, pretending that it twinged, and Marian dropped her things standing up to lean down to look at it,  
“Is it hurting? Do you want me to get something to relieve the pain?”   
“Oh, no, thank you – it was just a twinge.” Ann hurriedly said as she didn’t want to make a scene and trouble the whole house - it was only a distraction.   
“Okay…” Marian seemed unconvinced but let it be for now, though she didn’t sit down immediately but went to ask for a tray to be sent up, suspecting Ann was hungry.   
“Mrs. Cordingley will bring some breakfast up for you. But eh, will you be alright if I just popped down for a second?” Marian waited for her reply and Ann nodded,   
“Of course. Thank you.”   
“I’ll be back shortly.” Marian told her, exiting the room and all but running down the stairs to find Anne.   
“Aunt, have you seen Anne?” Marian wondered as she hastened into the sitting room, her Aunt looked up but before she had time to reply Captain Lister spoke up,   
“Anne is in the little sitting room.”   
“Thank you, father.” Marian smiled gratefully, hurrying thither to speak to her sister before she had time to leave.   
  
“Anne.” Marian barked, and her sister looked up from her desk,   
“Mm?”   
“Did you speak to Ann last night?”   
“What?” Anne acted innocent and confused though Marian stared at her with her hands on her hips,   
“Because suddenly she knows you don’t hate her, and she’s been smiling like a fool all morning.”   
“She has?” Anne raised her eyebrows and Marian groaned,   
“Did you talk to her last night Anne? Because you weren’t supposed to. It’s for her sake, to help her brain recover.”   
Anne looked everywhere but at Marian, and her sister sighed, loudly,   
“So you did talk to her?”   
“I didn’t tell her anything. I just, she woke up.”   
“And did you leave then?” Marian pressed and Anne scowled at her,  
“I didn’t see what the harm was.”   
“Her memories might not return because of you!”   
Anne shut her mouth, staring out of the window, and Marian let out a breath – dropping her fighting stance,   
“I know this is hard for you – but I think it best if we followed Doctor’s orders. For her sake.”  
Anne turned her eyes to her sister, and they were full of anguish, but she nodded reluctantly,   
“Fine. I won’t sit with her but only until I’ve read up on this – the little I can find, because I’m not sure shielding her from me is going to help her.”   
“You do that – and the rest of us will take turns sitting with her.”   
“She will think I lied to her – that I don’t like her.” Anne mumbled and Marian frowned,   
“But she will know you do when she remembers.”   
“Mm.” Anne didn’t graze her with a look, staring blankly out the window before turning back towards the door – putting her hat on with one swift movement,   
“I’m off.”   
“Whereto?”   
“Sort some business out in Halifax.” Anne shouted over her shoulder, hurrying through the house-body – gone before Marian could say another word.   
  
Ann was thrilled when night came – waiting for Marian to leave and for Anne to come by.   
When the clock struck eleven Ann pretended to fall asleep, to speed up the switch. She could hear Marian blow out a few of the candles and pack her sowing things together. Marian’s footsteps faded and the door closed – Ann didn’t dare open her eyes. She lay waiting to hear the door open – her stomach fluttering wildly as she thought about Miss Lister, longing to see her and hear her voice again.  
When the door did open, Ann all but contained a squeal – opening one eye slowly only to feel her stomach sink – it wasn’t Miss Lister but another woman – one of their servants. Ann felt ridiculous as tears burned behind her eyes, maybe yesterday was nothing short of a lie – because Miss Lister felt sorry for her. Tears escaped down her cheeks, and she turned her face slowly into her pillow to hide them from the woman next to her. Eventually falling asleep.   
  
_Ann stood facing Miss Lister, in complete shock - she doesn’t know why she has yelled at her, but she has – she’s told her unforgivable things, and she can tell that she’s upset by it, she’s done her own fair share of yelling and Ann doesn’t know how to make it right again. She regrets - immediately regrets her harsh words.  
“Anne.”   
“You understand **nothing** about me. I thought you did, but you **don’t**. Absolutely **nothing**.”   
Ann watches her, unable to do, think or say anything – all she knows is that she’s regretting all that was said. The voices won’t quiet down, and she cries – her heart shattering when she hears the door slam shut.   
  
_Ann jolted up in bed, her heart raced in her chest, and her breaths were short – she hissed in pain as she had upset her wound. She let out a shaky breath of relief when she recognised the room as Anne’s – it had all been a terrible nightmare. But it had felt so real, Ann was still shaken to the core, the voices that had begun as faint whispers had been terrifying and disgusting– and she rested her hand over her chest to calm herself down – looking to her side where the woman sat sleeping in the chair unaware of Ann’s nightmare.   
What if it wasn’t a nightmare though? But a memory… Ann bit her lip in thought, it might be, and it did explain to her why Miss Lister might not like her. She’d said something that time, truly hurtful. Ann scrunched her forehead – it must’ve been a memory. Though it made her stomach churn at the thought of having hurt Miss Lister and knowing that – it seemed unlikely that she would come back to sit with her. Ann held her head in her hands, wishing she could leave for home, she didn’t want to inconvenience Miss Lister with her presence, especially not if she had treated her in any way abominable. Worst of all was that she probably wouldn’t be able to ask her if it indeed was a memory- but Ann, at some level, knew it was.   
_‘It’s wrong. It’s repugnant. It’s against God. It’s queer.’_   
Ann gasped as the words repeated in her head – that’s what she had said to Miss Lister and Ann groaned – no wonder the woman hated her. She had insulted her in the worst way imaginable. But why? – She knew that people said Miss Lister was odd, but she had always found her fascinating – exciting – clever. Ann couldn’t fathom why she would say those words to her, and she didn’t dare ask Marian if she knew anything about it – afraid that she might come to loathe her too if she did. 


	9. Chapter 9

Ever since Ann had recollected that one memory, she had become quieter, wishing to be better soon so that she might leave and go home again. She didn’t feel comfortable staying there, occupying Miss Lister’s bed, knowing she had hurt that woman for some reason unbeknownst to herself. Marian had noticed her melancholy and became slightly worried for her and her recovery, deciding after three days to tell Anne about it, knowing her sister would demand to see her and Marian did wonder if that wasn’t the very best thing for Ann. She couldn’t see any reason why not – if anything Anne’s absence seemed to slow her recovery down rather than helping her. Marian had excused herself from the sick-room for just a moment – they had just taken a turn about the room, Ann needed to move her ankle a few times a day, and she had left Ann with a book before going out to find her sister.   
  
“Is everything alright?!” Anne’s head shot up from the papers she had been looking over, and Marian paused in the doorway,   
“To be candid - no. There’s something Ann’s not telling me – I think she has remembered something unpleasant that she refuses to talk of.”   
“Really?” Anne looked troubled and Marian nodded to which Anne stood up, accidently knocking her chair down,  
“I need to see her, and I don’t care what Dr Belcombe said – I refuse to let her drown in her feelings like that.”   
“I think you should actually. Just don’t tell her anything major. I’ll leave you to it and sit with Aunt for a while downstairs.”  
“Thank you.” Anne gave her sister a look of gratitude and Marian smiled – happy that her sister for once was thanking her,   
“Don’t mention it.”   
  
Anne ran out, down the corridor, elated that she would get to see Ann again – worried that she was letting her feelings eat her up from the inside. She all but bumped into the door – swinging it open, tumbling inside – stunning Ann who just stared at her from the bed.   
“Miss Lister!?”   
“Ann.” Anne panted out, offering her a smile – she was indescribably happy to see her again, though it concerned her to see the worry lines across her face. Anne made her way over to the bed, sitting down in the chair – taking her hand in hers but Ann pulled it out of grasp – she didn’t want Miss Lister to feel obliged to give her any comfort. Anne frowned at that but let it be for now.   
“You seem tired.”   
“I didn’t sleep well, um – my head was giving me a bit of pain.” Ann said quietly and Anne nodded,  
“Rest then – don’t stay awake on my account – I’ll be right here when you wake up.”   
Ann glanced at her kind face – feeling wretched – how could she be so kind to her when she had said such awful things to her?   
However, Ann did fall asleep after pretending for a while to not burden Miss Lister with the need to speak to her.   
  
_Ann’s blushing furiously, Miss Lister has just inquired if she ever wanted to kiss someone, and Ann had curiously asked her, if she had. Miss Lister eyes never left hers,  
“Wanted to? Oh yes.”   
“Who? When?” Ann hears herself say, she shouldn’t be asking these questions, but she wants to know who the lucky person was that had gained the affection of such a woman,   
“Every time I come here.” Miss Lister responded, gazing into her eyes, and Ann lost her breath for a second, stuttering, her heart beating so hard she fears Miss Lister might hear it,  
“What d’you mean?”   
Miss Lister reached her hand out to touch her lips delicately, running her thumb over her bottom one,   
“Surely you know what I mean. And I think you feel the same about me.”   
“What?”   
“I think you’re a little bit in love with me.” Miss Lister murmured, and Ann looks at her perplexed, averting her eyes, staring in front of her – she is in love with Anne Lister – of course she is. That’s what this feeling is. Ann doesn’t know what to do or say – she just sits there bewildered and finally Miss Lister speaks again,  
“Are you all right?”   
_  
“Ann, are you, all right?” Miss Lister’s hand touched her arm when Ann opened her eyes – staring at the woman in puzzlement. She was in love with Miss Lister. She knows for certain that’s a memory but, Ann frowned – that must have been why Ann said those other things to her. Was it that same day? – Ann pressed her fingers against her forehead – trying to still all the thoughts that went through her head and Anne shook her shoulder gently,  
“Ann?”   
“I…” Ann finally brought her eyes up to meet Miss Lister’s kind dark orbs, but she didn’t know what to say, blurting out ‘I just realised I’m in love with you’ didn’t seem like the wisest thing to do. Especially since Ann must have said those horrible things to Anne afterwards – her cheeks burned with shame – why had she said that?   
“Did you have a night terror?” Anne urged her to speak, and Ann blinked realising she hadn’t said anything,   
“No.”  
“Oh, you were fussing and turning in your sleep – so I thought… because of your head but maybe I shouldn’t have disturbed you.” Miss Lister apologised, without taking her eyes of Ann – she looked quite worried. Least of all Ann wanted Miss Lister to feel any more uncomfortable in her company and so she tried to smile at her,   
“No – I…”   
Ann did wonder if she should tell her that she had begun to remember things, but then there might be a whole inquest as to what and Ann was certain she’d die of shame if she needed to bring up what she had said, or need to tell Miss Lister that she remembered being in love with her – Ann had no want to be rejected nor to be declared completely mad.   
“What?” Anne raised an eyebrow, her whole expression soft and kind,   
“I just thought I had remembered something but… um…” Ann stuttered nervously, and Anne smiled at her,   
“That’s good – excellent news. I’m happy to hear it!”   
“Mm, soon I might go home, and you’ll all be rid of me.” Ann tried to joke but Anne didn’t seem humoured by it, she took Ann’s hand in hers,   
“I wonder why you think of yourself as such a nuisance. Hm? Has it occurred to you that we might like having you here?”   
“But I thought…” Ann began her blood rushing loudly in her ears, and Anne waited patiently for her answer, but when Ann seemed disinclined to speak up Anne sighed,   
“If this is about you thinking I don’t like you again – I really did mean what I said the other day, Ann. I do like you a lot.”   
“I thought… you didn’t come back and,”   
“Well, they found out I’d been talking to you.” Anne replied with a sad smile, and Ann bit her lip, and then she couldn’t resist asking her,   
“How can you like me? When I said such awful things to you.”   
“Have you said awful things to me?” Anne wondered, not sure as to what Ann was alluding to – she had no memories of the past and they hadn’t quarrelled at all since her waking up. Anne ran the back of her hand against her cheek – unable to stop herself from trying to comfort her better,   
“Hm?”   
“I remembered that I… I told you, I said that… Oh Lord, um, in my dream – I think I relived a memory – and I told you for some reason that _it_ was wrong, repugnant, against God and… _queer_.” Ann whispered mortified – sure Anne would get up and leave her when she was reminded of her words. Anne didn’t. Her face became serious and thoughtful.   
“I’m sorry.” Ann mumbled when she hadn’t said anything in reply and Anne shook her head,   
“It’s fine, that’s all in the past, Ann.”   
“But it was poorly done of me and I understand if you would, if you do despise me for it.”   
“I don’t.” Anne reassured her when she noticed her unshed tears, and Anne reached out her left hand as well to hold her other one. However, Ann was confident that Anne only tried to be nice to her and were going to gently let go of it, when Ann’s eyes widened and she grabbed hold of her hand tighter, not being able to stop her curiosity, staring at it with round eyes,   
“You have a wedding band on your finger, Miss Lister!” ****   
  



	10. Chapter 10

Anne’s eyes widened as she stared at the gold band on her right ring finger, she hadn’t even considered the fact that Ann might see it and think ‘marriage’. She hadn’t even thought about it, because she never took it off. Always kept it on. It was just part of her and her whole identity by now – it hadn’t crossed Anne’s mind to take it off, because not in a million years had she believed that Ann would wake up with no recollection of their marriage.  
Anne pulled her hand back from out of Ann’s grasp, trying to hide it away, wondering how she might get Ann to think of something else, glancing around her to find a distraction,  
“No, and really Ann, I think the absolute best thing would be to get the doctor since you’ve started to remember and...”  
“It is a wedding band! Who have you married?” Ann persisted, and if Anne might – did the girl look disappointed? – She almost smirked at that but then realised she did have a problem to take care of, that being Ann.  
“I… I can’t say,”  
“Why!? I am staying here… And you said we were good friends; therefore, you must tell me!” Ann tried to persuade her but to no avail, Anne shook her head,  
“I’m afraid you won’t like the answer – and frankly I cannot bear that right now.”  
“You’re so… interesting and clever from what I recall – and I admire you for all that you’ve done, travelling and such, and so I’m sure I could never loathe someone you like.” Ann pressed, giving her a pleading look, she needed to know who had captured her heart. Though she felt her own heart breaking at that – had she just realised she loved another woman only to find out she had married some man. And Ann thought to herself it was a good thing she hadn’t told her about that other memory – that could’ve been absolutely mortifying.  
“It’s not that I am afraid off, but your reaction, and you shouldn’t overexert yourself. Not when you’ve just started remembering.” Anne replied and Ann sighed, a bit dramatic, huffing like a teenager, crossing her arms, glaring back at Anne,  
“If I get married guess who won’t be told.”  
“If you get married - you are…”  
Anne bit her tongue hard, cursing herself for her jealous disposition, afraid that she might have revealed something, but rather hoped Ann wouldn’t take notice of the slip.  
The problem was that Ann Walker wasn’t just a pretty face, she was quick and clever.  
“I am what? Married? To whom?”  
“I didn’t say that… not exactly…” Anne began but was interrupted by Ann’s gasp, as she looked at her own hand properly for the first time since waking up,  
“But I am, aren’t I? – I hadn’t seen these rings before, and I thought they were just… but it’s an engagement ring and a wedding band isn’t it? Oh Lord, I should’ve known - Is it… it’s not to a man called A-Ainsworth, right? Oh, if it is, please just whack me over the head and have it over and done with.”  
“I can’t.” Anne continued to press, though she’d rather reassure Ann it wasn’t that rapist. The mere mentioning of him made her blood boil, and the look on Ann’s face at the thought of him broke Anne’s heart and she wanted so badly to wrap her arms around her and rest her head against her chest to comfort her. Ann’s voice brought her back to her bedroom,   
“I can’t, I don’t… Oh God, do I have children? Do I… When did I? Who…? But I don’t… Tell me, Miss Lister! Come on. You’re giving me… I can’t rest not knowing!” Ann begged, and Anne worried she might cause herself some physical pain with her twisting and turning so in agony and was panicking a fair bit with what to do about it,  
“I’m not supposed to tell you things like that – it will do more harm than good, Ann – but I will stay with you for a little while, if that’s alright?”   
“But you will tell me later?”  
“When you remember enough – yes.” Anne promised her to calm her down and then she sat down in the chair, picking up a novel on the nightstand, raising it before her eyes,  
“Do you want me to read out loud to you?”   
When Ann didn’t reply at once, Anne reached out to grasp her arm and Ann realised she wasn’t speaking and so murmured a ‘yes’ in reply.  
Ann stared at her as she began reading – observed her – the way her lips would move, the way her eyebrows arched and how her dark eyes glimmered in the candlelight - her misted eyes occasionally finding Miss Lister’s ring on her finger – thinking that Miss Lister would never know how she was hurting. She would never know the nature of her feelings towards her, and Ann eyed her lips sadly– she would never get to kiss those full lips. For once in her life, Ann wished that a rumour had been true. Her relatives had said all sorts of Miss Lister – but clearly, they’d been wrong. Instead, Ann was the only one ‘unnatural’, which for her was a great disappointment.  
  
Anne could feel Ann’s eyes on her, and it was distracting her from her reading – she had to read sentences over and over again – apologising every time. She did wonder if she shouldn’t just tell her – but Anne frowned, what if she didn’t understand it – thought it perverse or something like that – no, Anne had no want to be hit after nor insulted, she would wait until Ann remembered her feelings for her, at least she remembered something of their past – even if it was _that_ wretched moment. With another look at Ann, she could tell that she wasn’t even listening any longer – could clearly not concentrate either and Anne gave up and closed the book with a thud surprising the woman,  
“Are you hungry? I’m hungry, I might pop down and ask them for something to eat.”  
“No, I’m alright for now.” Ann replied her and Anne tensed, returning the book to the nightstand, not sure what she should do or say.  
“I know you said you couldn’t tell me who I’m married to, and I guess they’ve also had orders not to come in here – but couldn’t you please tell me of yours?” Ann plucked up the courage to say and Anne wanted to laugh because the situation was so bizarre. With red cheeks, Anne opened her mouth to speak, unsure whether she should say anything or nothing at all – but at this point she was running out of distractions and she might settle Ann’s mind for a while.  
“Ah, eh, oh alright then. Um, well I am married to a person. Uh and we are very happy together.”  
“Are you?” Ann tried her best to not look disheartened at that, she should be glad that Miss Lister had married well.  
“Mm.” Anne affirmed, saying to herself that she wouldn’t tell any more than Ann asked, to better keep track of her ‘lies’.  
“Oh, but um, what should I call you then? I didn’t know you weren’t Miss Lister any longer.”  
Anne stared at her, ‘fuck’ she thought, because telling her another name would confuse Marian and then they’d all know.  
“Uh, oh, It’s still Lister.”  
“Huh?” Ann frowned and Anne tried smiling confident, straightening her back in the chair,  
“Yes, I married a relative… Distant relative.”  
“What’s his name?”  
Ann really tried to keep up with friendly questions, thinking to herself that she must present herself well despite her own disappointment or fear losing Mrs Lister’s friendship before she had the memories or ability to have enjoyed it. Anne scratched her cheek, she didn’t want to lie too much,  
“It’s Ann…drew. Andrew.”  
“Oh, what a lovely name – do you have any children?”  
“No! Uh… giving birth is not something I have ever felt inclined to do.” Anne told her; cheeks gone intensely red – this was too absurd.   
“I shouldn’t have asked that – I’m sorry.” Ann apologised, recognising the impropriety of asking such a question – ever. Mistaking Mrs Lister’s red cheeks as humiliation and uneasiness.  
“That’s quite alright.”  
“I have always been slightly apprehensive around men, and had never really thought I would marry – I… whoever I married must be someone truly special… I can’t even imagine it. Is he kind?”  
“I’m not supposed to answer that.” Anne said sadly – how she wanted to kiss her and shout from the top of her lungs that she was her wife and no man’s. Amused though at her clear repugnance against forming any connection with a man.  
“What does he look like the man you’ve married?” Ann asked and Anne fought laughter – this was ridiculous, and she had to compose for a second, tears appearing at the corner of her eyes from keeping her chuckles away – Ann interpreted this as her getting emotional about her husband. Anne exhaled slowly, trying to smile casually, though her lips twitched,   
“The person I’m married to…”  
“Andrew?” Ann interrupted her and Anne nodded reluctantly,  
“Mhm… Ann…drew is blonde, has blue-greyish eyes, is short…er than me and rather dainty.”  
“Oh. You know…” Ann stopped herself, she couldn’t well tell Miss Lister, or rather Mrs Lister of the rumours she had heard about her.  
“What?” Anne encouraged her, and Ann blushed, gathering her nerve,  
“It’s just – I’m a bit surprised, I shouldn’t be, it’s ill-mannered and prejudiced of me, but I had heard… well they told me things about you um, that you were… eh, you know a bit… um ah anyway, so I am just a bit stunned you married at all.”  
Anne gazed at her, couldn’t help a huff,  
“You and me both.”   
“When did you marry?” Ann eyed her, she concluded it must be sometime after she had arrived back home at Shibden. Since she had heard nothing of a marriage when they stopped at Shibden – only that something had gone wrong in Hastings were Mrs Lister had stayed with her friend V… something Hobart? Ann scrunched her face in thought but returned her attention to Anne who had just breathed a sigh. Anne was relieved by the question – this one she needn’t lie about,  
“The 30th of March 1834. Easter Sunday, in York.”  
She couldn’t stop the grin that spread from ear to ear as she thought of that day – that victorious, lovely day that she’d married Ann before God as their only witness.  
Ann on the other hand felt a pain in her heart, and she closed her eyes for a moment to hide her disappointment and sadness but was struck by crystal-clear pictures in her mind of herself and Anne in York, part of their conversation repeated in her mind, from when they exited the church gates.   
_  
“So! What we should do next is get back to Halifax and pop in at Cliffhill and explain to your Aunt that you’re going to move in with me. At Shibden.”  
  
_ “Ann, is your head giving you pain?” Anne worried, looking at her tightly shut eyes, and the fingers that pressed against the sides of her head.  
“Do you need me to get something for it?” Anne asked again when she didn’t respond and Ann opened her eyes, staring at her in utter disbelief,  
“Are you absolutely sure you’re married to a man?”  
“Uh…yes?”  
Anne felt conflicted – she didn’t want to lie but if she said no, Ann wouldn’t stop asking.  
“You’re not!” Ann stated louder, as the memory of putting those rings on came before her inner-eye, and Anne didn’t know how to respond to that because no, obviously she wasn’t.  
“Are you…” Anne wasn’t given time to finish her question,  
“You’re married to me aren’t you?” Ann asked terrified it wasn’t true and that she had just humiliated herself before Miss Lister and possibly outed herself as an ‘unnatural’.  
“Why are you saying that?” Anne retorted, her heart beating hard in her chest – she didn’t want to shout of joy before she knew that she did remember.  
“We were in York. You wore a navy coat and I, you told me we should tell my Aunt I was going to move in with you at Shibden.” Ann rambled quickly afraid this was just her imagination – frightened Mrs Lister might be cross with her.  
“Oh Christ! Thank God, you remember!” Anne breathed a long sigh of relief, kissing Ann’s hand - laughing out loud, tears prickling her eyes.  
“We are really married?” Ann stuttered, because even though she was confused, she remembered the feeling, remembered being so in love with the woman in front of her,  
“Yes. Well, not officially of course. That’s not legal, but we took the sacrament together – swore oaths on the bible.”  
“I remember that – well, the church bit and the ring exchange.” Ann smiled, and Anne was outrageously happy – she could do naught but stare at Ann with love and affection, wishing she might kiss her.  
“That’s great. Really. I honestly didn’t know if I’d be able to keep up the lie about being married to a man.” Anne chortled, spitting the word ‘man’ out and Ann laughed with her,  
“I did wonder at you insistently saying ‘person’ instead of man.”  
“Mm. I have never looked twice at one.” Anne told her with a smirk, and Ann snickered amused, but then her face fell, and Anne looked at her alarmed,  
“Is something wrong? Does it… You don’t need to be frightened.”  
“It just, why didn’t you tell me?” Ann wondered, and she cursed herself when her voice broke a little and a frown replaced Anne’s grin, wishing Ann would understand.


	11. Chapter 11

Anne looked at Ann, brushing her fingers against her arm gently, groaning quietly,  
“They wouldn’t let me. And to be fair I thought it might be too much for you to grasp when all your memories of us were gone.”   
Anne willed Ann to understand that she hadn’t kept her in the dark for any other reason than for her own well-being. The blonde watched her silently, before opening her mouth again,  
“Oh, I thought you were avoiding me because you didn’t like me, because I had done something wrong.”  
Anne shook her head, smiling small,  
“No, as I said – I do like you… actually that’s a lie – I love you. It’s been dreadfully hard to stay away from you, not being allowed to sit with you and comfort you.”  
“I’m sorry for not remembering.” Ann mumbled, her fingers wrapped around Anne’s,  
“No,”  
Anne held her hand over hers, closing her eyes in painful remembrance,  
“I’m sorry. This is all my fault.”  
Ann frowned sweetly, cupping Anne’s cheek with tentative movements,  
“I don’t believe that.”  
“It is though.” Anne said hoarsely, lump in throat, trying to keep tears at bay,  
“How? Did you cause the gash to my head?”  
Ann eyed her softly, stroking a lonely tear away from her cheek,  
“Not exactly. But I… I’m not sure I should tell you.”  
“Then don’t, but I’m positive whatever happened – you weren’t to blame.”  
Ann beamed at her and Anne let out a teary chuckle, taking her hand from her cheek – kissing it fondly, wetting her hand with her tears.  
“You have always been too good for me, and had you all your memories at present, you probably wouldn’t agree with yourself. I know I can be rather difficult to live with.”  
“Oh, I think I would. In any case, I doubt you can be more difficult to live with than some of my relatives.” Ann smirked and Anne laughed despite herself,  
“But I am still sorry. When your memories return– just please remember that. I did not mean for this to happen.”  
“I know you didn’t.” Ann reassured her but Anne was still wary that Ann would be livid when she did recall their quarrel – and she only hoped that she would forgive her when she did.  
Anne leant down and kissed her forehead, lingering a little while longer than necessary, caressing her cheeks tenderly before standing up – but Ann grabbed her arm in a brave moment,  
“Stay, please?”  
Anne smiled down at her, squeezing her hand fondly,  
“I need to send word to Mr Washington first, that I can’t make it out today, and then, I need to talk to Dr Belcombe who is here, to have another look at you.”  
“But you’ll come back?!”  
Ann’s cheeks grew hot, as her hold on Anne’s arm relinquished, she berated herself for sounding so desperate – being so overbearing and Anne noticed the change in her mood.  
“I will. And Ad… Ann, you can tell me absolutely anything – I am your _wife_.”  
Anne bowed her head down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek before standing upright giving her a small smirk – heading out the door to write a quick note after which she would talk to Dr Belcombe.  
  
“How is she doing, Anne?” Dr Belcombe inquired, and Anne sighed, glancing at Marian who opened her arms,  
“I couldn’t lie to him.”  
“Well, and in any case – I do think it might have been good for her to see you.” Dr Belcombe hurried to say before any bickering could start. Anne gave a nod,  
“I believe so. She started to remember things, I think, three days ago – and she does recall our companionship. Other than that, she remembers nothing.”  
“I’m delighted to hear that – it bodes well for her. I think it is safe to say she will start to remember again – um, it might take time for **all** the memories to return but like with lighter memory loss I believe it might also come back suddenly – all at once.” Dr Belcombe depicted his conclusion of what he’d been told and both women nodded, relieved with the good news.  
“Does that mean I can sit with her now?” Anne wondered and Dr Belcombe chuckled at her,  
“Yes. You can, if you promise not to tell her anything major of her own life – she needs to remember of her own accord or she might just reconstruct memories from what you’re telling her.”  
“I meant to ask – I haven’t told her relatives about her accident – no more than the fact that she’s indisposed and not seeing people – should I tell them about her memory loss?”  
“From what I have gathered when I have tended to Miss Walker at other times, they haven’t, some of them, been unknown in the past of using Miss Walker – I think it would be very unwise to give them that sort of power. But that’s up to you, or indeed, Miss Walker.” Dr Belcombe answered her query and Anne was pleased to hear it – she’d rather not have anyone of them come and fill her head with poisonous words and lies – persuading her to leave or alike.  
“Good, thank you, Steph.”  
“No worries. Now. Is the invalid still up in your bed?” Dr Belcombe motioned with a hand upstairs, and Anne nodded,  
“Mm, we haven’t… she’s comfortable there and as she’s not supposed to move about too much, we figured she might as well stay. I have been sleeping in her room.”  
“Right. But she has been up for short turns?”  
“Marian have been following your orders obsessively.” Anne smirked, glancing at her sister who rolled her eyes humorously at her,  
“One of us had to.”  
“Excellent. Shall we?”  
Dr Belcombe pointed to the stairs and Anne gave a nod and followed him up the stairs.  
  
Ann looked up as Anne entered the room again with Dr Belcombe and she smiled at them, though mostly at Anne and she grinned back at her.  
“Miss Walker, how are you doing? Any better since last time?” Dr Belcombe greeted, and Ann nodded slowly, careful to not upset her healing head,  
“Much improved, I started remembering things a few days ago.”   
“That’s marvellous news.”  
Dr Belcombe stood his bag down at the foot end of the bed while Anne sat down in the chair and Ann stretched her fingers out for her and she took her hand in hers, stroking it gently to provide her some comfort and help her ease.  
“How have these memories returned?” Dr Belcombe asked as he opened his bag, Ann glanced at Anne and she smiled encouragingly at her,  
“Um… some returned through dreams but some, eh, well, um they returned, um suddenly when I was ah, awake.” Ann tried explaining but felt as though she was utterly inarticulate, giving Anne a nervous look. Dr Belcombe took no notice of whatever it was that Ann was anxious over – he was just pleased to hear she was remembering,  
“That’s all very well. I am going to take a peek at your ankle – see how it’s doing, have you much pain from it still?”  
“Eh, um, it doesn’t hurt quite so much anymore.”  
“Good. May I?”  
Dr Belcombe motioned with his hand to the covers and at Ann’s nod, he raised the covers to look at the elevated ankle underneath. He felt around it and examined it with a small frown as he concentrated,  
“It seems fine to me. It’s healing. Another week and I expect it will have recovered – it might need a few days more. Keep taking turns though, you might begin taking turns downstairs – but don’t stand on it too much and keep the foot elevated as much as you can.”   
“We will make sure of it.” Anne answered for her, giving her a soft smile, squeezing her hand and Ann bit her lip, her face lightening up as she gazed at Anne. Dr Belcombe noticed this, and he coughed to gain their attention again,  
“I need to have a look at that head wound now.”  
“Of course.” Ann blushed slightly, and Anne helped her to lean forwards – or rather to steady her once she was leaning forwards – standing up, sitting on the bed to better hold her.  
Dr Belcombe undid the bandage and the dressing and Ann’s face scrunched up as he peeled it off, she looked at Anne who chuckled at her expression, removing one hand from her shoulder to discreetly fondle her cheek – running her thumb under her lip before returning her hand to where it had been.  
“How is the wound looking?” Anne wondered, trying to crane her neck to see for herself, and Dr Belcombe moved a little to allow her to,  
“As you see it’s been healing nicely. The wound has closed well, and you see the way the scab has evolved – it’s still fragile and might come off – which will cause a minor bleeding, nothing dangerous. Um, I will dress the wound again but only to prevent it from coming off. It will fall away sooner or later, but we want that to happen when there’s new skin tissue underneath.”  
Anne listened intently, moving her eyes from the ‘wound’ to Dr Belcombe, it fascinated her but then she moved back so he could clean the area before dressing it again. Ann didn’t say much, she was focusing on not letting out a small yelp at the straining and twinging of it – though it was by no means as terrible as it had been the first few days, it mostly hurt when touching the area. Anne merely rubbed her thumbs against her shoulders where she held her, gazing down at her with worry at her scrunched-up face – feeling terrible knowing she couldn’t do anything to help relieve the pain. 

  
“In all, Miss Walker – I expect you to make a full recovery and I am positive, Miss Lister will make sure you do. I need to get back to York but if there are any changes for the worse – send me word and I’ll come back to have another look. I’ll leave your care in Miss Lister’s capable hands”  
Dr Belcombe turned from Ann to Anne,  
“Uh, in another three days have a look and clean the wound again – dress it if need be. Until the scab falls off of its own accord.” Dr Belcombe said as he closed his bag, taking it off from the bed. Ann smiled wide at that – she was happy to hear the good news,  
“Thank you for all your help and for the trouble of travelling here.”  
“No worries – I’ll see myself out.”  
Dr Belcombe looked at Anne who’d stood up to follow him to the door, and she sat down again as he left them to their own once more.


	12. Chapter 12

Anne watched the door close behind Dr Belcombe before she turned her attention back to Ann on the bed,   
“He was incredibly positive about your recovery.”   
“Yes. Though I wish he could’ve been more specific when he thought they, um my memories, might return.”  
Ann played with the rings on her finger and Anne stilled them with her own,   
“I cannot promise anything – but when we talked about it – he said he believed they might come back suddenly – all of them. When your brain has healed from the trauma done to it.”   
Anne pressed a kiss to the top of her head– almost as if she thought it might help her brain heal.   
“Couldn’t you tell me what happened? Did I really fall down the stairs?” Ann pouted, her eyes puppy-like and Anne had to look away, that girl really had a terrifying hold on her – she’d be able to persuade her to anything with a look or two.   
“Miss Lister?”   
“You know, you are allowed to call me Anne.” Anne smirked, and the blonde flushed under her gaze but recovered fairly quick from it,   
“Anne.” Ann smiled as she tried it, and Anne laughed out loud, embarrassingly happy to hear her name come over Ann’s lips once more.   
“Please tell me what happened!”   
“Ah, I – I do think it best if I didn’t.”   
Anne ran a hand through her hair, eying her apologetic,   
“I guess so.” Ann admitted downcast and she averted her eyes – staring at the covers she was fidgeting with for a bit before returning them to Anne,   
“I meant to ask though – do you know what this is?” Ann turned her wrist and pointed at a white scar and Anne’s smile vanished as she eyed the scar – a reminder of how close Anne had been to losing her once before. Ann observed her white face, and the anguish that seemed to creep behind her eyes as she looked at it.   
“Anne, are you alright?” Ann wondered when she hadn’t said anything and Anne startled from her thoughts and a single tear ran down her cheek, and she brushed it away quickly,   
“Eh, Mm. I can’t tell you about the scar – you have to remember on your own, but I am aware of how you got it - yes.”   
“Did I try to…”   
Ann’s sentence died as she saw Anne tense up and she knew, she understood how it had come to be. A vivid image danced before her eyes when she closed them, of her sitting on the floor in her room, by her trunk – but it was barely packed. She frowned as she tried to hold onto the memory – Miss… Anne had come inside the room, and Ann kissed her, they had had a lovely snog in which she managed to say that she didn’t want to leave. Anne had agreed with that sentiment, but Ann had to go... to Scotland.   
“Believe me – I want to tell you everything.” Anne told her, brushing her fingers against her side, and goosebumps appeared over Ann’s arms, and neck.   
“Was it when… after I went to Scotland?” Ann inquired and Anne nodded, but then her eyes widened,   
“You remember Scotland? Or did I let that slip?”   
“There was this memory come back to me when I closed my eyes just now – I was leaving, and I didn’t want to leave… well you.” Ann told her frankly and Anne furrowed her brows, caressing her cheek tenderly,   
“If I could have that undone – I would. I really… I thought… I believed Scotland was the very best thing for you then. But I should’ve known. I shouldn’t have left you.”   
“Don’t blame yourself for anything you had no power over. However, this happened, I did that to myself. It’s my own fault, I am the only one at blame!”   
“No… you were ill, Ann. Unwell. If I am not to blame myself – then you can’t blame yourself either.” Anne said firmly, giving her a serious stare and Ann smiled faint,   
“The voices.”   
“Yes?”   
Anne eyed her carefully,   
“They told me to do it – I think. Or no, actually – they wouldn’t shut up and I… I thought I’d never see you, never be near you again and I just… gave up for a moment because life without you wasn’t... worth the pain.”   
Anne’s lips were tightly pursed together as she tried her hardest not to cry, for Pete’s sake, Ann was right there in-front of her, alive and all she told herself harshly.   
“The time apart were awful – I don’t think an hour passed without me thinking of you.” Anne managed to say through the thick lump in her throat and Ann gazed at her with tears brimming,   
“I can’t believe how lucky I am to be with you.”   
“I’d argue it was I who is lucky.”   
Anne beamed at her, and Ann flushed under her tender look,   
“Would you…” Ann began but stopped herself and her face became beet red making Anne intrigued with what it was she wanted to say that evidently made her so embarrassed.   
“Would I what?” Anne encouraged, and Ann bit her lip shaking her head, but Anne squeezed her hand, urging her with another penetrating stare,   
“Go on tell me! You can’t just hint at something and then not tell me what it was you wanted.”   
Ann covered her face with her hands, and Anne laughed at her, prying her hands gently from her face, kissing her hands softly.   
“Come on, Annie – you can tell me anything!”   
“You’ll think I’m ridiculous.” Ann mumbled and Anne raised an eyebrow,   
“Hm, I might surprise you there.”  
Ann exhaled slowly, stretching her fingers before her as if to brace herself before carefully raising her eyes to meet Anne’s dark ones that were sparkling with mirth.   
“I wondered if you’d… um kiss me… I’m not… I just… I’d only want to know what it’s like.” Ann murmured, pressing her hands to her burning cheeks, afraid that Anne might think her a wanton. Anne chuckled and reached her hands out to remove Ann’s hands from her cheeks,   
“Course I will.”   
“You don’t have to if you don’t want.” Ann hurriedly said, she didn’t want to force Anne into anything, and Anne laughed louder,   
“Trust me – there’s nothing I’d rather do.”   
Anne leant forwards, cupping her cheeks with her hands, slowly lowering her head to capture her pink lips with hers. As she did, she couldn’t help but smile against her lips – how she had missed this – it was absolute heaven to kiss her again. Anne kissed her slowly and tenderly – aware that from what Ann recalled – they had never kissed – and she had never been kissed by someone who didn’t force themselves on her. Ann responded tentative at first but then grew more eager as the kiss progressed. Anne pulled away, pecking her lips quickly before she leaned back, exclaiming, with closed eyes and a wide smile,   
“God, I’ve missed this.”   
“I’ve been wanting to do that for the past few days.” Ann admitted with a goofy smile playing her lips and Anne arched her brows,  
“Really?”   
“Mm. I had this memory of you telling me you wanted to kiss me and then you said that you thought I was in love with you – and I was – I am. And I… then I thought I’d never get to kiss you, because I thought you hated me and then of course, I thought you were married… to a bloke.”   
Anne grinned at her, kissing her nose fondly, holding her by the chin,   
“Sometimes it scares me how much I love you. Though obviously nothing frightens me.”   
“Obviously.” Ann agreed cheekily and Anne chortled with her.   
  
Anne stayed with Ann all day – helped her take a turn about the room, talked to her of that they could – of things she remembered or of Anne’s past. They had their dinner in bed and Anne read to Ann for an hour and a half in the late hours and then she sat with her – writing an entry in her journal while Ann sketched in the sketchpad Anne had brought her – an empty one so Ann couldn’t see any drawings she’d done before. When the clock struck twelve Anne reluctantly stood up from the chair admiring Ann in the flicker of the candlelight as she sketched – her hair cascading down her shoulders and her tongue peeking through between her lips as she concentrated on the shadows. Anne approached her, and sat down on the bed, the mattress sinking under her – gaining Ann’s attention. She quirked a sweet brow and Anne couldn’t resist a smile,   
“I think it’s time for bed.”   
“Oh.” Ann responded as she noticed what the time was, Anne brushed a few blonde curls out of her face, touching the bandage that were wrapped around her head.   
“Do you want me to take those?”   
Anne pointed to her sketchpad and Ann nodded, handing Anne it and she left them to rest on the nightstand.   
“When will you come back?” Ann asked, a worry line appearing on her forehead, and Anne caught her right hand in hers, running her thumb over her wedding band,   
“I promise to be here when you wake up. And if I’m not, you can always call for me and I’ll come running.”   
“But…”   
Ann swallowed hard, plucking up her courage, and Anne waited patiently for her, caressing the palm of her hand,   
“Couldn’t you stay all night? Here.”   
“If you really want me to. Otherwise, I think my back would rather me sleep in a bed.”   
Anne smiled at her softly and Ann frowned,   
“I meant with me – in bed. This is **_your_** bed after all.”   
For a second Anne thought she might mean something else – but then she lectured herself – this was not the time for that.  
“Really? Are you sure?”   
“I hate being alone.” Ann confessed and Anne lit up, leaning down to kiss the corner of her mouth chaste,   
“Then I’ll stay. I just need to ready for bed. I’ll be back in a moment.”   
Ann’s face shone up and she nodded, allowing Anne to leave and get changed. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happened to write 13 chapters instead of 12... oh well - Happy New year to everyone! Let's hope this year turns out better - I mean we are getting a second series of GJ soo...  
> Anyway Hemingway - Thanks for reading, it means so much! Xx

Anne returned as soon as she had changed into her nightgown. She tread carefully over the wood to lock the door – having Marian or someone else burst in there to find her in bed with Ann wasn’t ideal.   
“What are you doing?” Ann wondered opening her eyes, and Anne turned around to face her,   
“Just making sure no one joins us unexpectantly.”   
Ann smiled at that, and then let her curious eyes discreetly follow the contours of Anne’s body – it was distinctly more feminine without her stays, corset and waistcoat, when images of her completely undressed appeared at the front of Ann’s mind, she blushed deeply and averted her eyes. Anne smirked at her, chuckling, as she approached the bed, of a mind to say something cheeky – but noticing how embarrassed Ann was and realising how utterly humiliated she’d feel at being caught staring she closed her mouth again.   
“You tell me if anything hurts right? If I disturb your ankle or head.” Anne told her as she lifted the covers and climbed into bed on the other side of Ann. She nodded smiling small,   
“I will. I promise.”   
Anne sank into the pillow behind her, relishing in being once more in her own bed – beside Ann. Nothing could be better – Anne wouldn’t even care if Ann snored louder than ever before, she was never leaving her side again. She turned her head to meet Ann’s bright eyes,   
“Goodnight.” Anne mumbled, grinning wide and Ann returned the smile,  
“Goodnight, Anne.”   
Anne shuffled a little under the covers to be able to lean down and kiss her sweetly, after which she blew out the last candle on her nightstand, leaving the room in complete darkness.   
“If you feel any discomfort, or actually if you want to wake me up – just do it.” Anne murmured quietly and Ann whispered a ‘thank you’ before they both fell silent.   
Anne wanted to reach out for her – to cuddle her, kiss her and be near her but she didn’t want to bring her any uneasiness and so she turned her back to her, trying to fall asleep though hyper-aware of Ann’s presence. Ann didn’t close her eyes, she studied Anne’s back, her curves, her breathing – she couldn’t take her eyes of her. No matter that the room was almost pitch black, she could still tell her out in the dark if she really focused.   
Ann reached her hand out, almost touching her when she retreated it, biting her lip, not sure if she dared to. She glanced at her long dark hair wondering what it would feel like to run her fingers through it, down her back… Ann stopped herself – what was she thinking of? She couldn’t well lie in the dark imagining her fingers touching all of Anne – she was being crude. What if Anne knew what she was thinking – she would be appalled surely. Ann’s cheeks burned as she willed the thoughts and images away, trying to concentrate solely on Anne’s calm breathing. After a while Ann was pretty certain Anne had fallen asleep, her back had relaxed considerably. Ann heaved herself up on her elbow, craning her neck to look at Anne. She must be asleep – all worries gone from her face, and Ann couldn’t help but admire just how beautiful she was. Ann lay back against the pillows, sighing – she couldn’t sleep though her eyes stung with exhaustion. Another glance at Anne and Ann couldn’t stop herself from reaching out, gently running a hand down her spine. Anne mumbled and moved a little closer to Ann in her sleep whilst Ann held her breath and arm completely still – afraid that she had roused her. When Anne remained asleep, Ann dared to breathe again – letting out a small breath. But Ann, though feeling a bit ashamed – wanted badly to touch her again. Surely Anne wouldn’t mind? Ann thought as her bravery rose within her. Ann, turned on her side, though keeping her foot elevated on its pillow, resting on her elbow, before reaching out again, brushing her fingers against Anne’s shoulder, running them down her arm – she was warm, and soft and Ann’s heart hammered hard in her chest – why did this feel so exciting? Anne moved again, moaning into her pillow, turning her head slightly though her eyes were closed,   
“Ann?”   
Ann froze, raising her fingers from her arm, wanting to die of shame at being caught – thinking she might pretend to be asleep or something alike. But Anne opened one eye, glancing at her, tiredly,   
“Mm…” Ann mumbled, on the verge of tears from embarrassment. Anne however, barely awake, merely smiled – noting the hand above her arm. She raised her hand, grasping Ann’s wrist carefully before wrapping it across her, laying it to rest over her abdomen. Ann were now in an uncomfortable position, and hesitantly moved herself closer to Anne – her chin almost resting against Anne’s shoulder. Anne sighed happily, raising the hand she held over her abdomen to place a kiss against it fondly before returning it to where it was, pressing herself gently against Ann’s slightly tense body. Ann was surprised at how nice it felt having Anne pressed up against her but soon enough relaxed into her warmth, daringly placing her lips against her neck.   
“I love you.” Anne mumbled, half-asleep again already and Ann’s heart filled with warmth and joy at those words, and she kissed her below her ear, inhaling her scent before slowly falling asleep to Anne’s calm, relaxing breathing.   
  
Anne woke up feeling better and more rested than she had for a long time. Ann were still curled up behind her, her arm protectively draped across Anne’s abdomen and she smiled happy as anyone. Maybe things would really return to normal soon enough. All though Anne would never take Ann for granted ever again. Ann nose tickled her neck as she breathed and Anne turned carefully in her arms, lying on her back instead, with Ann still very much wrapped around her. She ran small circles on her arm with her fingers, supporting her head with her other arm behind her, glancing down at Ann’s sleeping form. Pleased to see she was hurting less and was more comfortable than the first days after her accident. Guilt welled within her as she thought about their quarrel and Ann’s tumbling down the stairs – she would’ve never forgiven herself if she had died. She still would never for the pain she had caused her. Anne kissed her temple, and then her eyebrow – leaning her head against hers.   
Ann stirred a little, wrapping her arms snugger around her waist, nuzzling her head better under her chin, kissing her lazily over her exposed throat.   
“Good morning.” Anne said running a hand over her blonde curls, and Ann groaned into her neck, tiredly,   
“Love.”   
“Sorry?” Anne raised an eyebrow confused, and Ann sighed,   
“It’s Good morning, Love.”   
“What?” Anne chuckled at her – still completely bewildered, and Ann growled,   
“I’m your love – good morning love. If you can sign your letters to Isabella Norcliffe with love and affection you can sure as hell greet your wife properly in the morning.”  
Anne were about to retort irate but then it dawned upon her and she tensed, forcing Ann’s face from under her neck, to look at her,  
“You remember that?”   
“What, why wouldn’t…? Oh, wait, Lord. Yes, I suppose I do…”   
“Do you remember everything?” Anne asked observing her face closely and Ann pondered this, but got distracted,   
“Mm, I guess you were right… I do remember our quarrel and I am a little bit angry with you.”   
“Yes, yes – and rightly so! I’m so sorry, Ann! I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”  
“You best make it up – and you can start with telling me a proper good morning.” Ann told her, placing her head to rest under her chin again – Anne just stared at her, but Ann made no effort to say anything and so Anne sighed,   
“Uh… Good morning, love! Now, my dearest darling Adney – could you please tell me if you remember everything or just that.”   
Ann smirked up at her, one eye open,   
“I… I guess I do. _Everything_.”   
“I’ve missed you.” Anne mumbled, pushing Ann off her only to stand over her on her elbows to kiss her properly in bed but Ann moved her head and Anne’s lips greeted only the pillow. Ann laughed out loud at the look on her face and then at the pout she made,   
“I don’t think we ever finished our quarrel, dearest.” Ann teased and Anne groaned, turning around to lie flat on her back again.   
“I’m sorry, I am – Ann I promise you I married you out of love – never mind the money. Mary might’ve said things but what you have to understand is that I was in deep denial about the depth of my feelings for you – and you had left for Scotland and...So.”   
From what she had gone through the last days, Ann knew Anne was telling her the truth – and to be frank – she only ever doubted her in the heat of the argument – she knew Anne loved her and therefore guilt filled her as she watched her agony and tears that threatened to spill over. Ann stood on her knees, and threw caution to the wind, and moved her ankle – and her head as she straddled Anne who looked up at her in confusion. Ann lay down over her, head on her breasts and arms wrapped around her.   
“I love you, silly goose.” Ann murmured into her chest, placing soft kisses wherever she could reach - warming herself against Anne who had recovered from the surprise and caressed her back gently.  
“No, you’re **_my_** silly goose.” Anne retorted amused and Ann raised her head but little,   
“About that – stop referring to me thus in your journal. People might think you don’t like me.”   
“What?! I happen to love geese.” Anne defended herself and Ann swatted her cheek lazily,   
“Shut up! You like to eat them.”  
“Excuse me?! I happen to enjoy a taste of you every now and again too – thus goose.” Anne stared down at her mock-offended but then their eyes met and they both burst out laughing. They laughed with each other until everything hurt. But no matter – they were together, and they were happy.  
“I love you, Adney.” Anne told her and Ann stood on her elbows to place a tender kiss on her full lips, but it soon evolved into a good snog.   
“God, may I never forget this again.”  
Ann came up for breath to say and Anne chuckled, holding her neck gently before lifting her lips to meet hers again.   
“No, forget me not again I beg you!” Anne whispered against her lips before sinking into her lips once more rejoicing in the fact that Ann remembered _everything_.   
  
**The end.**


End file.
